火の中心 Center of Fire
by kokoro77
Summary: Roxas is new to the Organization and meets with Axel, an older teen who is ordered to guide Roxas and teach him the ways of the Organization. As time progresses, Axel soon discovers what it is like to be prisoner to his own 'heart'. -discontinued-
1. Chapter I

火の中心-Center of Fire

Disclaimer: No matter how much I may wish, I do not own any of the KH or KHII characters:(

Warnings: Contains slight swearing in future chapters, YAOI pairing (AkuRoku)(and possibly others) ;3

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From what most people could tell you, it is impossible to love without a heart. But how could anyone know what it is like? How could anyone with a heart be able to tell you and state that it is true? Those with hearts simple wander amongst people like themselves which can lead to confusion. Someone loves another, and instantly the heart takes over their body. Hearts...what's to think of them? They're nothing but a beating organ in the human body that serves as life...a life with a time. That only leads to the point that no one lasts forever. After life, well, that somebody becomes nobody, right? You're probably wondering why I know. Let's just say, I wonder that too. The truth is: I have no heart...but I remember what it was like. There's always a good point and down point to everything, hearts included. And, despite the fact that they are controlling, they provide people with something called happiness. I guess I wouldn't know much about that either...but still; it's like a faint vision in my head. There was someone, actually, a no one, that told me a lot of things I would have never stopped to think about before that no one crossed my path. Hearts...what's to think of them...? Now that I think about it, there's everything to think about them. I have no heart...I am nobody...I was and still remain a victim to my heart...a prisoner trapped in my own flames.

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_Chap I_

_It was a world that no living being ever thought existed. All people had to worry about were their own worlds until the day they died. But, there are those that set their minds on separate courses and place themselves in worlds apart. What's it like to stand on a different world, even for a second? What's it like to interact with other hearts different than your own on that world? Would people be disappointed to not be able to experience different hearts in this world that never was?_

A young boy, possibly in his teens at the time, rushed through the blinding darkness without a sense of where he was to end up. He panted heavily and turned a corner only to find a dead end. A short gasp escaped his lips when scattered splashes echoed behind him. He turned his head left then right, and then forward searching for the owner of the noises but to no avail. The darkness had blinded his sight that he could barely search the shadows for his unknown stalker.

"Get me away from here! So-- So—" He grabbed at his throat in surprise that the last of his sentence was forced silent. Something forced its way through his mind as he stood speechless in the dark. "So--" Nothing. The footsteps were closing in on him, now scratching and clawing threateningly against the pavement. He took a step backward only to be pressed against a hard wall behind him. His breathing quickened when the noises ceased all together. They, who ever they were, were still there...something told him they were.

"What...is this place...?" He whispered to himself. Complete and dead silence flooded his mind that it was almost too much for him to tolerate. "Just leave me..." He was forced silent again and froze when two, large, amber eyes emerged from the ground below him. They penetrated through the darkness and stared blankly into his deep blue ones. He forced a yell and jumped to the side only to be met with another like the first. All he could see were their eyes but even that was enough to send the sensation of fear through his body. He was surrounded in the center of emotionless yellow pupils glaring at him.

"R...K...So..." His eyes widened when his meaningless stammering ended as the strange figures began to lunge forward like wolves at their prey...him.

"_You're not from around here, are you?"_

The blonde had his eyes covered behind his black gloved hands that he couldn't see who the owner of the voice was. He pressed his back closer to the wall and shut himself away from this world. Why was he afraid? He had never been...he had...he...he opened his eyes and blinked in a daze. What was wrong with his mind? By the time he returned, the ominous scattering noise around him silenced and he was shut in an unspoken barrier. His body was feeling mysteriously warm, despite the cold weather, and all around him smelled of burnt matches.

"What're you so afraid of? Boy, you've got to work on your fighting skills." The voice of an older, male teen sounded in the blonde boy's ears, breaking the quiet barrier, but he refused to back away from the wall. He kept his face covered with his black sleeve and lowered his head, staring blankly at the wet pavement. He heard the teen sigh and let off a light chuckle. "Come on, I'm not like those things...well, no that's a lie...come on, I'm not gonna bite you or anything!"

He cautiously peeked over his shoulder, his back still pressed against the wall, and finally was able to lower his arm and rest it casually at his side. With his head still lowered, he shut his eyes tightly and lightly punched the wall at his right in frustration. "What is this place?" He asked himself in a tense whisper.

"My world. Well, technically, your world too." The boy's voice came again, this time lower as if attempting to calm the blonde down.

"...Your world?" With curiosity burning in his body, the teen began to raise his head to face who ever had rescued him from those strange shadows. More than anything, he hoped what the teen had told him wasn't true; that he was like whatever had attacked him. Now that the figures had gone, the darkness seemed to become less blinding. His sapphire eyes finally met with a boy noticeably taller than him. He was dressed in a long black cloak with two metal chains dangling from the front of his hood which he had pulled back to reveal his face. He wore black gloves over his hands and leather black boots that were mostly covered by his long cloak. His entire outfit was exactly identical to his own. His figure was slimmer than what the teen expected and his posture was formally straight. The only bit of skin he could see on the teen was his face and a bit of his chest that the cloak hadn't hidden. The hair atop his head was noticeably unique considering the fact that it was crimson like fire. Clutched in both of his hands was a large red, circular weapon armed with sharp, pointed edges. He assumed it was what he had used to slaughter the yellow eyed figures.

His eyes remained glued to the boy with a blank expression circling within them. The boy must have noticed and chuckled like he had before. "You really aren't from here, are you?"

He blinked and shook his head, unsure of what to say.

"Just as I thought...but you've gotta get used to this place from now on. Like I said, it's your world too." He tightened his grasp on his two weapons, which nearly caused the blonde haired boy to begin running again. His fear quickly left him when the weapons burst into flames and left their wielder without a single burn. "Name's Axel, kid." He said while saluting slightly with two fingers.

"My name's not kid!" The blonde retorted, taking his first step forward.

This only caused Axel to laugh again. "You're a fired up one, aren't ya?" He paused and crossed his arms. "You've got a name, don't you?" He asked.

"Uh, well...yeah, I do...I mean..." He stuttered and stared at the ground again. How did that just become the hardest question in the world right now? "I'm..."

"_Roxas"_

"Roxas!" He stared, surprised at his sudden outburst, and attempted to find words to say. "Wait, how'd that...?"

"Hah! You got that too?" Axel asked in amusement. "Wow, I thought I was the only one who went through the whole name loss..."

"But, I didn't...did you hear that voice just now?" Roxas, as he was to be called now, asked with confusion in his voice.

"No, just you. Course I've heard it before but that was for my name. It's not really mine though." Axel uncrossed his arms, the silver chains tinkling as he slid his arms out from underneath them. "Trust me, there're a lot of things like that now that you're part of this Organization."

"O-Organization?" Roxas asked, straightening himself up again.

"You'll find out later on. Since I found you first, looks like I've gotta intro you in. Great, makes my day even better." He slumped forward and sighed.

"Couldn't you just tell me now?" He was already becoming impatient.

"Sorry, ki—er—Roxas. Rules are rules. I'm not the one responsible for explaining the whole spiel to you." He looked up again and glanced casually over his shoulder into the darkened street. "That's Xemnas' job." His voice suddenly lowered and at first his expression seemed like he wanted to do nothing but kill. Roxas stared at him again for sometime before Axel turned his head back and seemingly returned to normal. "So, ready to get outta here? Roxas...'kay that's your name."

"Where?" Roxas asked, ruffling up the hair at the back of his head.

Axel stared upward for a moment at the sky above. Roxas glanced at his eyes for a bit, now noticing their light teal color, and wondered what was going through his mind. He almost seemed disappointed in something but Roxas didn't feel like he had known him long enough to ask what he was thinking so he kept quiet.

"There's a castle, just over there," Axel finally said, thrusting a gloved finger in the direction at his back. "That's where Xemnas is."

"Xemnas..." Roxas repeated to himself. Why had the name struck him as awkward? He hadn't known a Xemnas...truthfully, he hadn't known anyone except for Axel at the moment.

"Hey, you probably haven't experimented with your transportation yet, huh?" Axel asked, turning his body around toward Roxas again.

Roxas paused for a bit then shook his head. There were so many things he didn't know about this world...about himself...about everything.

Axel laughed again and shook his head lightly. "How long did you say you've been here for?"

He thought of the question for a while. Ok, so maybe the question about his name wasn't the most difficult question. He thought back to his encounter with those shadows. He brought his mind back to the time he was walking down an empty road with no one at his side. He remembered a sharp pain...a meaningless cry...then, his mind went blank. He shook his head again and sighed in disappointment at himself. "Sorry, I-I don't exactly know..."

"Sorry?" Axel asked in surprise. "That's nothing to be sorry for. See? That was a trick question. Didn't expect you t' answer that one...or the one about your name."

Roxas nodded although he wasn't even sure as to what Axel was doing.

"We'd better get outta here now. Wouldn't wanna get smacked upside the head by Xemnas, trust me." Axel rubbed the back of his head and the second he did, the ground below him warped into a black void.

Roxas took a large step forward with his arm extended toward Axel. His eyes immediately widened and he then found himself pulled out of the darkness at the back of the alleyway. He stopped right before Axel and stared at him as if he was crazy. "What're you doing?" He asked with his voice raised.

"Heh," Axel scoffed and reached forward through the black flames that were beginning to engulf his body. He grabbed Roxas' left wrist and pulled him toward his body. Roxas suddenly felt a strange sensation tingle his senses. He glanced below his feet at the black void that both he and Axel were standing in. He could feel his breathing speed again when the black flames licked at his face, leaving no wound whatsoever on him. He could feel his body being surrounded by darkness...he could feel the cold touch of the flames through his dark cloak and shuddered.

"What're you so afraid of?" Apparently Axel felt him shudder. Roxas turned to the direction of Axel's voice beside him and nervously inched closer to where he assumed he was. Everything was hidden from his sight again and it frightened him. Darkness...pure darkness. There was a light grasp still around his wrist and with that in mind he knew that Axel still had his hold on him. After all, he was the only one he knew...the only one who seemed to care about who he was.

_He wasn't afraid._

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	2. Chapter II

_Chap II_

_...In that world, that world that was never meant to be, darkness held it captive in its shadowed grasp. All those that walked that world's ground fell prisoner to the darkness' cruel power. Heartless...darkness...what differs between them? What makes the two unique in their own ways? This world...this prison cell...is there any sign of light for the living and those without a beating heart? Organization XIII...these members...how is it they are what they are? How is it they are able to hold darkness in the palms of their hands and face it directly? It must be all they know...darkness. There...in their bodies lies the nothing that every being searches for._

Roxas' body suddenly felt free. The feeling of the flames cold embrace quickly began to disperse and for once, he felt secure and confident of where he was although he had not opened his eyes. He turned his left wrist and no longer felt Axel's hold on him. He waited for a second or two and cracked both of his eyes open halfway. The ground his eyes met with was no longer the wet asphalt from before but instead was ghost white. He opened his eyes fully and assumed he would become blinded by the strange light that seemed to be emanating from the room's surfaces.

"What is this place?" He asked, half to himself and half to Axel who had begun to pull his dark hood over his head. He glanced upward at the ceiling while vacantly pacing in circles.

"A room," Axel laughed when Roxas stared awkwardly at him. "You're too much, kid," he joked and tightened the silver chains around his neck to tie off his hood. His face was now hidden from Roxas. Roxas almost began to rethink following Axel in the first place. Was he really trustworthy?

"I already told you, my name isn't kid," Roxas muttered angrily, turning to further examine the room.

"I never really liked this room...or any other room like it for that matter," Axel stated casually, beginning to walk in the direction opposite of where Roxas was standing.

At the sound of Axel's footsteps, Roxas turned and already assumed he would collide with a wall. It was like being stuck in a blank sheet of paper with nothing to say, and nothing to think. Although many thoughts flew through his mind, he couldn't find a way to let it all out in words. He groaned solemnly and raked a gloved hand through his spiked blonde hair.

"Quit stalling! You're slower than Demyx in battle." Axel called over his shoulder, signaling for Roxas to follow by raising his hand.

Roxas shook his head and straightened himself again. "Dem-yx?" He repeated slowly.

"You'll meet him later too," Axel's cool voice fell to a lower tone so suddenly that Roxas would have assumed he was replaced with someone else. "Walk ahead of me, it's the way Xemnas would want it," He continued and stepped to the side to make way.

Roxas' eyes moved to the nothingness of white that Axel had been walking toward and searched its surface for anything relating to a door. Either he was blind, Axel could see things better than he could, or Axel was just plain crazy. Regardless, beyond where they were standing, he would find answers for all his questions. Xemnas...that name...that person was the key for his unlocked questions.

"Xemnas." He repeated in his head as he began to walk forward, the chains around his black cloak rattling lightly as he made a step. He could sense that those teal eyes behind Axel's hood were following him and it nearly made him twitch. In a way, Axel was like a friend already but somehow he was like the darkness beckoning for him. Which one; he did not know. Roxas kept his sapphire eyes on the endless light before him and tried to ignore his guide for the moment. There was a blend of emotions rushing through his body at the time that it made him feel nauseated. He knew it, any minute now he would fall to the lighted floor. Any time now he would lose control over himself and would run...run to where he had last seen those dark shadows. It made no sense why he wanted to be out in those dark streets than in the light room. The light...it didn't register to him...something about it didn't feel right. He swerved, he caught his balance, he swerved again, he was loosing it...

"So—" He hissed through his teeth before being forced quiet like he had before. Shaking his head, he stared at where he was standing. At both sides of his head were two hands pressed against the white wall he must have been forced against. It wasn't until now that he noticed that the back of his head was throbbing. He attempted to feel for a bump behind him but was stopped by a sudden bang beside his ear. "Huh!" He shuddered slightly and turned forward to fall upon two aquamarine pupils staring into his deep blue ones.

Axel laughed lightly and slowly leaned forward until he was close enough for their mouths to touch. "You ok?" He asked lightheartedly.

"O-Ok?" Roxas' voice cracked when he opened his mouth to speak. Those feelings, what were they?

"You were acting really weird just a second ago," The red head said, keeping his voice down to a low key.

"Uh...I...no I mean...it's..." Roxas' sentence was cut off by a slender finger being placed gently over his thin lips. He tried not to shudder...he couldn't be afraid again, not now...not ever again.

"Hah, you're just being a liar." Axel scoffed, finally pushing off of the wall, freeing Roxas from his mesmerizing stare. "You should learn to keep your head on straight." He placed his hand atop Roxas' head and ruffled the blonde's hair roughly before pushing at a piece of wall at Roxas' right.

Roxas' throat felt dry while another part of him felt...he didn't even want to go there. He rubbed the back of his head and as he expected, he felt a small bump from his impact with the wall. His lips trembled when he attempted to speak so he remained silent. He had nearly forgotten why he was in this white space anyway. Just so Axel could do those things to him? As he turned to follow Axel into the next illuminated area, he glanced over his shoulder at the nothing they had been in. He wanted to be there...forget the darkness...he threw that all the side. What had caused him to change his mind?

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"So who's that you've got with you, Axel?" A cheery voice came at Roxas' left the second they both set foot in the room.

Roxas looked up to search for the owner of the voice only to be confused even more by a number of people that were seated above his head. Eleven, he counted, were clothed in the same black cloak that he and Axel were dressed in and were sitting un-moving in their own personal place. A few of them wore their hoods down while a majority of them kept them tied over their heads, keeping their faces indistinct. He squinted, trying to catch the bits of detail in their faces but gave up once he felt the dizziness returning again.

"That was Demyx. Just in case ya didn't know." Axel stated, staring up at the ceiling himself at the eleven people above.

"Well, is that the new member or what?" The voice came again. This time, Roxas was able to identify the owner of the voice when they leaned forward in their seat, resting their hands upon their separated knees.

"Depends!" Axel called back. "Not my job to decide that!"

Demyx, Roxas assumed, slouched back into his white seat and sighed heavily. "Number thirteen, huh? If he does get accepted he'll be the youngest in the Order, right?"

"What's he...?" Roxas began, turning toward Axel for the answer.

Axel shook his head and folded his arms behind his head. "Not my job to explain all of that to you. Got it memorized?" He asked, turning toward Roxas for assurance.

Roxas nodded, unsure, and suddenly felt uncomfortable at the people above glaring down at him from above. He felt like an ant being closed into a corner only he knew no one in the room would have found it interesting to eat him. He could hear an exchanging of conversations resonating from the high walls. It was him they were gossiping about. He wasn't that surprising; was he?

"_Roxas"_

Soon, the light whispers died down to absolute silence. Roxas turned to the low, powerful voice at his left and came in contact with a being dressed the same as all the others and himself. He turned to Axel who had straightened and refrained from speaking, something that seemed a bit awkward for him to do. The person stood frozen still while only it's head surveyed the room. It's body was well built from what Roxas could tell and by the hushed, obedient expressions of everyone in the room, he knew that this was Xemnas.

Xemnas' head finally stopped when he came upon Roxas hidden partially behind Axel's body. As if by command, Axel stepped backward to reveal the young teen under the radiance of the light, his formal uniform strikingly noticeable against the pale white.

"State his name," Xemnas asked, turning his head toward Axel.

"He told me it's Roxas," Axel replied obediently.

"Does he know of his real name?"

"No."

"What of his power?"

"I haven't gotten a chance to see what he can do. He hasn't attempted transporting by himself yet."

"You brought him here then?"

"Yes."

There was a short pause in the room until Xemnas started up again.

"Axel," Xemnas said in a monotonous voice; he wasn't moving.

Axel turned his head toward the man and waited.

"Stay seated until I return with Roxas." Without another word, Xemnas turned, his shadowy cloak gently following his movement, and beckoned for Roxas to follow with a simple glance over the shoulder.

Axel was engulfed in black flames the second Xemnas ordered him and disappeared and reappeared in an un-occupied seat with the other eleven above. He ruffled his fiery hair and leaned forward to view the boy from below. _"Roxas..."_ He thought through his head when the blonde disappeared into a separate room with Xemnas striding up front.

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Another bright room was Roxas' environment now. He could feel the walls nearly closing in on him; he had never felt so small. The room was empty except for him and Xemnas who had his face hidden at the time. Xemnas' back was turned from Roxas which made Roxas think that he was dormant. He was so still that if he was standing in the dark, Roxas knew he would have been connected with the darkness. He even wondered if Xemnas was even breathing. He stared gloomily at the blank floor with his hands beginning to tighten into fists. What should he say? What was there to say? He had those questions before. What to start with? When he couldn't keep it contained any longer, Roxas took a single step forward and glared directly at the man before him.

"Xemnas," he began, "I know you know why I was brought here. I tried asking Axel where we were but he told me it wasn't his job. If it isn't his, then it's yours. Where am I? Who're all those people outside with the black cloaks? Why am I like them? I'm not even sure if I really am like them. But, from the looks of it, I'm supposed to be the new 'member' to this so called Organization. I don't even know who I am! I don't know how I got here or...or how it is I know your name!" He immediately shut his mouth after the last outburst and searched for more to say to cover him up. "No...no, that's not what I..."

"Are you sure those are not just questions you yourself can answer?" Xemnas interrupted, still unmoving.

"I...me?" Roxas asked, staring questionably at Xemnas' backside.

"You don't know...of course, it is impossible for a new nobody to know the answers to the world's simplest questions."

"N-nobody...?" He repeated to himself in a whisper.

"It is what you are, Roxas."

Roxas paused and began slowly, "You were the one that told me my name, weren't you?" He slowly was coming to realize that he knew the man's voice.

Xemnas became quiet again. Roxas wished he wouldn't for it made him uncomfortable being around someone that acted like a specter. "Nobodies...they, Roxas, are a certain type of being in the universe that, shall we say, were never meant to exist."

"I..."

"Yes. You, just like Axel and all the others are nothing but half of something that used to be."

"Something that used to be..." Things just became stranger and stranger as time progressed.

"Nobodies are originally created for every Heartless created. Heartless are created from human beings that die and that are reborn into a body without a beating heart. Heartless hunger for darkness in people's hearts which makes their jobs easy considering that darkness will forever reside in hearts. The life of a Heartless is to collect hearts from unsuspecting beings with hearts."

"But, we aren't Heartless." Roxas added, suddenly becoming interested in the topic.

"No, we are not. However...you will notice, if you search, you have no heart. The only difference between the Heartless and us is that Heartless are irrational shadows while we are together as one whole. Our minds are completely fixated on hearts...something we share with the Heartless. Roxas, tell me what it was like for you..."

"What do you mean?" He asked in a somewhat gloomy matter.

"Try to interpret it and explain to me what it was like." Xemnas, for once, moved his hooded head and glanced over his shoulder at the boy.

He paused, his hands still clenched into fists, and pondered the thought. "How...how did it feel...? How did...wait...something like, a light warmth."

"Hmm." Xemnas said to himself, nodding his head once.

"It was...something to look forward to everyday. 'What's in store for you tomorrow?' was the sort of question to be asked. But...there was also...also...sting."

"Sting..." Xemnas muttered to himself.

"Sting...like a feeling of burning. There was that time when...I couldn't take it anymore and didn't want to undergo that much pain..."

"Explain to me that pain. How did it come to be?"

"It was...it..." Roxas' voice trailed off and his eyes drifted upon the floor again. Pain...there were so many different ways he could have explained the feeling. It was just something that grew from within him and revealed itself by attacking others. But why did he know? He could barely even remember his name. He could barely even walk straight or stand straight for that matter. All he could do was find help in other people...or nobodies. Nobodies...he was a nobody. Not meant to exist...no heart? He as simply half of someone that was real. He was struck silent as thoughts raced through his head. He feared being no one. It pained him to be nobody.

Xemnas stared forward again when Roxas refused to say anymore and merely nodded his head gloomily. "I see." With a raised hand, he signaled for Roxas that they were finished.

Roxas' blank eyes drifted to Xemnas where they remained for sometime before he knew there was nothing more he could say. He suddenly felt the strain of the bright light against his eyes; almost like sharp pins being stabbed into them. With his eyes half closed, he turned gracefully toward the white door. Xemnas had faded no sooner than when Roxas stepped out to start his beginning...his beginning journey as nobody.

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The feel of the first gathering room felt lighter than it had earlier to Roxas. The gentle scuffing of his boots against the marble flooring echoed lightly when he stepped forward into the center of the round space. He knew the eyes were watching him now; just as curious as he about whom he really was. His eyes traced the outline of a large, grey shaded symbol that appeared to cover the entire floor. He hadn't seen it before and took at least some interest in its somewhat complex design. After what seemed like forever, Roxas froze in the dead center of the room, in the dead center of the strange symbol, and effortlessly stared up at the group of black cloaked people above. He recognized Demyx who was still sitting as he was when he last saw him except this time his face was straight when he stared down at Roxas' body. Twelve, now including Axel...no, thirteen, now including himself.

"_Number 13, Roxas."_

Roxas recognized the voice as Xemnas' as it resounded in the silence. The moment the voice spoke Roxas' name, Roxas' eyes fell upon an un-occupied seat above his head among the others. The two beside him were hooded so he wasn't able to view the faces hidden in their darkness. "Roxas..." He whispered drearily. He became wrapped in darkness when he thought of his name. The black flames were already beginning to surround his body just as it had before when he was with Axel. Only this time, he faced the darkness and abandoned searching for the light. All he could remember was being placed amongst nobodies like himself. This was who he was and this was where he belonged. All Axel could do was smirk approvingly...number eight, number thirteen.

_Chap III_


	3. Chapter III

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stars at the end of the chapter name signals that there is certain content involved in the story that isn't appropriate for some people. the more stars, the more yaoi-ish-ness. just thought i'd give a heads up!

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_Chap III_

_Amazing how people grow as time transcends. Not only do our minds change, but so do our hearts. And when hearts transform, so does the very existence of the person. What is it like to love? What is it like to feel true happiness and smile when you want to? This all changes when the heart does. Happiness becomes another, sadness becomes another, but love...love remains the same. It remains as that sensation flowing through the blood of a body. Passion, indescribable. Heat, beyond explanation. Nobodies and the Heartless couldn't possibly know what it feels like to love another. No, that must be a lie. Maybe by further examination of the Nobodies, the question will eventually clear._

Axel rested his cheek in his hand and sat lazily in his seat. Slightly above him was that boy...the one he had seen shivering at the very sight of darkness. He was the one that had been curious to know who he was and was relived when his beaming eyes fell upon the light. How he amazed him. He scooted forward in his chair and continued to gaze up at the blonde, his teal eyes glancing over that soft skin and azure eyes that currently stared solemnly at the ground far below. _"No! Stop it, Axel! You barely know him. You barely know him!"_ He yelled in his head and averted his eyes.

"Well, seeing as you were the one who found him," came a stern voice at Axel's right.

Axel casually turned his head to face the owner of the voice whose face was hidden behind a dark hood. He leaned back and ruffled the hair at the back of his head. "I should get an award or somethin', right?" He joked teasingly.

The man chuckled once and crossed his arms. "...seeing as you're that one that found him...that means you're that one that has to take care of the kid."

Axel widened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" He asked idiotically.

"You heard me. It's Xemnas' orders. You've gotta do some babysitting now, Axel!" He began laughing out loud to himself afterward.

Axel glared at him and turned away in annoyance. It didn't seem to help get his mind off Roxas though for he was just turning toward him again. His eyes slowly wandered to Roxas again. Roxas didn't seem to notice...and even if he did, he didn't seem to care.

"_Great. I've gotta take care of him? Since when did this happen? I went off on my own when I joined up! Why's blondie so special?"_

"Well, be seein' you, Axel." The man at his right stared up again and signaled farewell with a light salute. "Have fun with your little buddy!" Axel could still hear the man's strong laugh even after he disappeared into his own dark void. With his fists clenched, Axel began to glance around the room where several of the others were beginning to dismiss themselves...all but he and Roxas remained in the gathering room.

He stared up at Roxas who still kept quiet, his blank eyes seeming as if tears would begin streaming at any second. He didn't seem to care that people had already left. He didn't seem to care about anything...nothing. Axel chuckled lightly and lay back into his chair. "Did you take the news that badly?" He called up to Roxas.

Roxas simply shut his eyes and absently swung his dangling feet in circles. "No." He responded shortly.

"Let's get outta here. Look's like I've gotta take care of you until you've gotten used to the Organization." Axel forcefully pushed off from his seat and landed softly onto the floor beneath him. He sighed and glanced upward at the small body of black that stared in awe back at him. "Don't tell me you can't jump either?" He called.

"I can too!" Roxas retorted, pulling his feet up onto his marble chair, still staring down at Axel who seemed so far from him. Hesitant at first, he paused and stared dizzily at the grey symbol painted on the floor.

"Come on, I'll catch you if you don't land right!" Axel said with a laugh.

"Are you crazy?" Roxas called back, finally pushing off. He began free falling at a slow pace which felt awkward to him. Almost like he was flying was what it was like. It wasn't until he reached solid ground again did he stumble and nearly fall flat on his face. He felt a sudden push against his face and stared up at Axel a bit shaken. "Are you crazy?" He repeated against Axel's chest.

"Most of the time, yeah." Axel replied, grabbing Roxas roughly by the shoulders and setting him straight again. As Roxas walked ahead of him to the door that left the room, he kept that image in his head: staring down at that innocent face when he saved him from a fall. He shook his head and stared into the palms of his hands as he walked. _"Am I really that crazy?"_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Axel," Roxas began.

"Huh?" Axel looked up and brought his hands to his side again.

"Have you ever...you know, really wanted to be a human?" He stopped abruptly and turned around when they were only halfway down a deserted road.

"Where'd that come from?" Axel asked, scratching the side of his head.

"It's just that...Xemnas told me..."

"Oh, yeah. The whole story he told you..." Axel interrupted, gazing up at the night sky.

"He didn't really give me the whole story. Just a chapter of it." Roxas added disappointedly.

"Here's the thing," Axel began, slowly continuing down the street, "we, as in you, I, Demyx, and all those other black hooded people are a different form of Nobodies. Nobodies in real life look like a white Heartless. We're more like...humans without hearts."

"Heartless..."

"Those things that attacked you earlier. Hah, and the ones that I had to defeat to save your sorry ass." Axel chuckled and Roxas couldn't help but join him.

"Oh, yeah," Roxas stared when it nearly hurt to laugh, "Xemnas told me a little about them. He doesn't like to talk much does he?"

"Nah. Unlike other people in the Order. He did tell you about the Order, didn't he?"

Roxas paused for a bit and shook his head, feeling a bit stupid. "Sorry..."

Axel lowered his head and slapped his hand over his forehead. "There you go again with the apologies! There's nothing to be sorry for! Geez you're such a pansy."

"Am not!" Roxas clenched his fist threateningly and cursed to himself.

"Look, it's fine. You're new here so if you don't know an answer, just say you don't know it. You don't gotta apologize for it. Got it memorized?" Axel asked, waiting for an assurance from Roxas.

"Ugh, fine." Roxas groaned and plodded alongside him, feeling slightly defeated. "So, I'm guessing all those people back there plus you, me, and Xemnas are the Organization?"

"Hah, bingo. See? You do have a brain."

"You're so weird." Roxas mumbled.

The two continued down the street at a snail's pace. Roxas wondered why the world he was in was so filled with darkness. He at least expected a fragment of light to be there...but nothing but the neon lights from the street served as the little light the world could offer. Why wasn't he so afraid of it now? He could recall shuddering and hiding his face from the darkness not too long ago. Now he was walking through it fearlessly and un-blinded. He was afraid of it...he was only curious about it. He brought his eyes to Axel and recalled what had occurred earlier in his first visit to the white room. What exactly did happen? He turned away instantly. Was it wrong if he asked Axel why he had pinned him to the wall? He must have been going into a state of mind that he was unable to control. Axel was probably trying to bring him back to consciousness in a way...in a way he...

"Yeah, I have wanted to be human..."

Roxas jolted back to reality and stared back at his companion. "What?"

"I thought about it a couple of times before. I never enjoyed being nobody...I think I like it as much as the next guy..."

"Yeah...like me." Roxas agreed. Like he mentioned to himself, it pained him really.

"But hearts probably aren't all that great if most of my memories of one are dark."

"Dark?" Both suddenly stopped in the street, wrapped in the conversation.

"Sometimes...thinking about having a heart just makes me appreciate that I'm nobody. But then again, heh, it would be nice to be called by your real name."

Roxas didn't really know what he meant by 'name' but he simply nodded once to tell Axel that he understood. As he stared at Axel, he couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He didn't know how long Axel had been in the Organization but for as long as he had been a Nobody, he must have always wanted a heart. Roxas soon began to think about it to himself. Did he want a heart? True, those memories of having a heart weren't the best, but they weren't the worst either. A heart would complete him. A heart would give him a personality...feelings, and a life. "You think you'll become human one day, Axel?" He asked, breaking the silence between them.

Axel kept his eyes ahead of him and stayed frozen in place. "...Maybe." He replied softly. "See, Xemnas is after a place called Kingdom Hearts. It's where all the Heartless keep the hearts they collect from living humans. He tells us that when Kingdom Hearts is obtained, we'll be given a real heart. But man, Kingdom Hearts isn't the easiest door to grab hold of, you know?" He crossed his arms behind his head then looked over at Roxas.

"So this 'Kingdom Hearts' is the place where we can actually be someone..." Roxas thought about it for a while. A heart...he could earn himself a real heart. Now he knew what the Organization was after. Now he had a purpose; a goal. Still, he kept in mind that obtaining one wouldn't be easy. From what Axel stated, Kingdom Hearts seemed to be a powerful door to take advantage of. "Ugh..." He groaned and strolled to the side of the street, dragging his dull boots against the pavement. "Give me a break!" When he reached the side of a building, he slammed his back against it and leaned lazily against its surface.

Axel lowered his arms to his sides and turned toward Roxas with an awkward expression on his face. Something about Roxas kept him interested every time he did something. His movements, his expressions, and his sudden change in attitude kept him curious about his new companion. _"What's with this kid? He's...no! Gah, Axel, stop it now! Don't do it..."_ He began to fight with himself. Half of his body constantly told him to walk up to Roxas and...well, what was he supposed to do? The other side of him, however, lectured him to control himself and stay where he was until Roxas felt it was time to leave. _"Leave...just leave, Roxas!"_ His first half was winning no matter what he yelled to himself. He was now fully turned toward Roxas in his perfectly straight posture, his bright teal eyes half way closed as they continued to stare at the young teen. Roxas didn't seem to realize that Axel was inching toward him for he seemed too wrapped up in his thoughts about hearts. _"What am I doing? This is just like earlier! Damn it! Roxas!"_ Axel paused, nearly a foot away from Roxas, and stared down at him, trying to keep his breathing down to normal.

"Hmm? Axel?" Roxas looked up from the ground...his first mistake. He fell under the shadow of the teen as he became trapped into another one of those hypnotizing gazes. He opened his mouth to speak but when he tried, he choked on his words, unable to force them out. Both of Axel's arms trapped him against the wall again with both of his hands at each side of Roxas' head. Confused and anxious, Roxas stared back at Axel helplessly. He was becoming uncomfortable again...but was that a bad thing?

"Why are you doing this, Roxas?" Axel questioned in a gentle whisper. He lowered his head and nudged Roxas' neck sensitively. With Roxas the way he wanted, Axel placed a single kiss against Roxas' baby soft skin. Roxas' eyes widened when he felt Axel's tongue brush against him and he let out a light gasp, unable to say a thing. Something about it seemed wrong...but god did it feel right. He began scratching at the wall behind him eagerly when Axel began trailing even more of his kisses on him. His scent: like a burning fire. He felt himself becoming dizzied by that scent and he almost thought he would fall unconscious like before. If he did, he couldn't think of what Axel would do to him. "Uh...A-Axel...? Nhh...don't..." He stuttered in a useless tone of voice. Axel simply ignored him and thrust himself at Roxas, forcing Roxas' body harder into the building wall. "Axel..." Roxas drew in a sharp breath and finally found his voice. "STOP IT!" He yelled with his eyes tightly shut. To his surprise, Axel stopped.

Roxas breathed heavily and nearly felt like he would collapse to his knees. He felt Axel's body slowly pushing off from him and at last he wasn't being pushed into the wall. He glared up into Axel's narrowed eyes when they came into view again and kept silent.

"Alright," Axel said with a shrug. He brought his arms back to his sides and took a few steps away from the shaken boy.

Roxas raised an eyebrow and gaped at him. He nearly dug his nails into the wall he was leaning against. _"Is that all he can say?"_

The red head chuckled once and quickly wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He smirked at Roxas connivingly and swiftly turned his back on him. " I respect that about you, Roxas." He called over his shoulder.

Roxas kept quiet.

"I'll catch up with you later! You don't mind do you?" Several dark flames gathered around Axel's body and quickly swallowed him into darkness.

Roxas stared blankly at the very spot in the road where Axel had disappeared and slid his back down the wall, sitting weakly at the side of the road. Axel acted as if nothing had happened. He had just showed a form of heart to Roxas...but he didn't have a heart. So how could he...? Roxas buried his face in his knees and attempted to slow his breathing. He still felt those light kisses against the side of his neck and he knew they weren't about to leave him anytime soon. The way those eyes stared down at him...the way his lips felt against his skin...the way he spoke to him..._"I...he...how could I want more from him?"_


	4. Chapter IV

_Chap IIII_

_Why is it so difficult to understand? Organization XIII is by far the most suspicious beings ever to exist in this universe. But they contain no being within them. So how is it that they are able to move, speak, and feel just like any normal human? They have no hearts...therefore, they are incomplete. It is not normal for a body to function that way. If they can be like humans, then why should they fantasize about owning a heart? Is it perhaps how they protect one another that keeps them strong? No hearts...only themselves. How is it that a Nobody can act and feel like a Somebody?_

"_Why are you beating yourself up, Axel?"_

"_That's none of your concern!"_

"_Where's your dear friend Roxas? Don't tell me you abandoned him..."_

"_No!"_

"_Then where is he?"_

"_That's none of your concern!"_

Roxas groaned lightly and slowly began to lift his head. His neck felt stiff and his back ached from slouching for so long. He opened his eyes and rubbed the back of his head, trying to recall where he was and what had happened. Things were rushing at light speed for him. It seemed like only seconds ago that he was helplessly running through puddles and dark streets from mysterious 'Heartless' as Axel said they were called. Wait, Axel? He sat up with a jolt and turned his head, trying to remember where he had heard those voices; one being unfamiliar, one belonging to Axel. He found himself panting again, now realizing that he was alone. He must have fallen asleep yet he didn't know how long. Steadily he stood from the ground and his hand moved to the side of his neck. He ran his fingers against his skin for a short while, his memories of the past finally returning to him.

"_He was...I couldn't have been...dreaming? It felt too real..."_ Solemnly, he stared at the ground and tried to forget. He was a Nobody. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. He wasn't supposed to exist. He wished he was gone...then he wouldn't have to be in an Organization...he wouldn't have to be along side a teen who would do things to him...he wouldn't have to feel the pain any longer. He felt a burning sensation rising in his empty chest. Furiously he clenched his right hand into a fist and punched the wall behind him, not caring about the sharp sting that was beginning to spread onto his hand. "WHY DO I HAVE TO BE HERE! WHY!" His angered screams resonated through the dark city, only making him feel like he was alone.

Absolute silence...

"_GAH!"_

"Axel?" Roxas questioned in a whisper, abruptly turning his head to where he heard the pained yell. He heard several explosion-like crashes in the distance. It only told him that something was wrong. "Axel!" He yelled into the seemingly deserted city. He pictured Axel's body in his head. His black cloak, his fiery head hair, that devilish smile, and those eyes that led him into euphoria. Engulfed in darkness, Roxas continued to picture that body in his mind...he wanted to hate him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The cold dark began to weaken when Roxas opened his eyes. He could catch sight of black fire burning to the ground and disappearing into a black empty space below his feet. He recognized the flames as the same ones he had been trapped in with Axel and when he appeared in his own seat with the other members of the Organization. Once the flames died, his vision was finally restored for him to examine his new surroundings.

"Ah, so it's you."

Roxas faced forward and met with another black cloaked man. He already assumed he was with the Organization as well. His eyes were narrow and thin almond shaped, giving him a sinful sort of aura. His hair fell just over his shoulders and was a light shade of blue, almost silver. Between his eyes was an unusual scar that Roxas recognized as an 'x'. Staring at the man's scar gave him the impression that he must have run into a brutal battle in the past. His voice, which Roxas now acknowledged as the first voice he had heard before, was monotonous with sin curved around every word.

"Who're you?" Roxas asked suspiciously, keeping his distance from the man.

"Saix." He replied, no expression appearing on his face. "You must be Roxas, correct?"

Roxas hesitated and nodded once.

"Well, it's nice to have you on the Order, Roxas...you're lucky number thirteen if I counted correctly." Saix said, his slim eyes slimming down even more.

"Uh...I guess. That's what Xemnas told me...hey, have you seen Axel anywhere?" Roxas' eyes flashed when he remembered that yell he heard. Saix scoffed.

"As if he is of any importance. Such a fool...what sort of miscreant would title him as _your_ mentor?" He hissed in annoyance, his eyes glistening as he spoke.

"What?"

"You see? Even he has failed to tell you that he shall be your caretaker. So un-organized. Tell me, Roxas, how has your time with the Organization treated you thus far?"

Roxas raised an eyebrow and stared at Saix with confusion written on his face. Did he hate Axel? If so, why? He didn't think it was possible for members of this Organization to disapprove of the ones they worked with. After all, they shared the same sort of emptiness and longing...at least it appeared that way in Roxas' perspective. Either that or he was standing in a completely different angle than the rest of them. He felt so different than these Nobodies although he too contained no real being. What was he supposed to respond? That he hated it or that he rather enjoyed being in the dark? Either way, Roxas felt he would sound stupid replying that way.

"Where-is-Axel?" Roxas repeated slowly.

Saix shook his head and his eyes moved to a space behind Roxas. "If he concerns you that much..." He muttered.

"Huh?" Still lost, Roxas nervously glanced over his shoulder and his eyes widened when they met Axel's unconscious body. "Axel!" He turned, completely shoving Saix's existence to the back of his head, and raced to Axel's side. Axel was seated on the ground with his back leaning against a building wall with his head lowered and eyes shut. "Axel, Axel, come on..." Roxas whispered, shaking the teen eagerly with both hands on his shoulders. When he remained silent, Roxas tightly shut his eyes and felt that burning fire in his chest again. He tightened his grip on Axel's shoulders and cursed to himself in his head.

"Now, now, Roxas. There's no use in beating yourself up about him," Saix's voice stared in an amused type of tone. "You should be grateful that I arrived to set him straight. If I hadn't seen him punishing himself, then he might be long gone by now."

"You...what did you do?" Roxas hissed through clenched teeth.

"You see, I wield the moon element, Roxas. Every member of this Organization wields a specific element that they use as their battle tool. That idiot fool, as you might have observed already, controls the element of fire. You, well, you are still a mystery. I used my element to help calm Axel down. There are many things you do not yet know, Roxas. Especially about your so called 'teacher'."

"Stop it..." Roxas murmured threateningly.

"Axel is known of losing control of his anger. It's only expected from a Nobody that holds the power of fire. When that anger increases, fire becomes a dangerous threat. Its flames will continue to burn until something is there to kill them. Axel was cursing to himself about something I could not distinguish. His yelling, the temper in his voice, I knew he would cause much more trouble if I didn't stop him. And so, using my own power, I ended that anger...Roxas, don't think of it as hatred. Think of it as my way of showing a way of 'heart'."

"I said stop..." He growled.

"Think of it, Roxas. Those unknown shadows in your mind can be cleared. You can unlock those questions that you long to ask. We can discover that unknown power that you wield...evidently, I can be the only one to show you that power." Saix eyed Roxas through his eerie eyes and waited.

"You...YOU HAD NO RIGHT!" As if forced by an unknown being, Roxas jolted from the ground and clenched his hands into fists, standing protectively in front of Axel's still body.

"You refuse? Hmm, and here I was thinking you were a smart one."

"ROTTEN BASTARD!" Roxas' palms began burning just as the feeling in his body was. His mind was beginning to overpower him. This anger...this burning...hadn't he felt this once before? He tightened his grasp until he felt his hands go numb. He could feel a cold surface inching between his fingers which caused him to turn his attention to his hands. A bright light penetrated through the darkness and nearly blinded him. He could still feel that anger but at the same time, some strange new emotion was causing his fingers to tingle. He stared into the light, eager yet afraid. He had nearly forgotten Saix...he had nearly forgotten who he was just by staring directly into the light. He thought of Axel again...he knew he was hurting; he knew something was wrong. The longing to protect...

In his both his hands, Roxas held a strange form of weapon, each as long as his arm and both differed in appearance. The one he held in his left hand was beaming silver with a complex star blade at its front. At the end of its handle dangled a silver chain with a small, star shaped charm. The blade held in his right was pitch black and camouflaged into the eerie darkness. In the center of its handle was a dark blue diamond embedded near the black, crown formed charm. He eyed both weapons in awe and held both firmly in his hands, turning them over once, twice to further study them. When he returned to Saix, now coming back to reality, he now noticed that his new enemy was staring speechless for once. He knew he was afraid.

Clutching onto the two blades, Roxas bent down in attacking position and his burning sapphire eyes glared up at Saix. "I don't need your help." He ridiculed.

Saix, which Roxas' expected, took a step backward and for once appeared defeated. "You'll regret ever protecting him!"

"He's more of a mentor than you! He's more of a friend that any of you!" Roxas threatened.

Dead silent, Saix gaped at Roxas and finally seemed to give up. With his two snake-like eyes still glued to the blades Roxas wielded, Saix wrapped himself in darkness and became swallowed by the darkness. He was gone at last.

"You'd better keep away from us! You hear me!" He yelled into the dark of night. He turned and stared down at where the two blades were. He jumped back, now noticing that they were no longer in his grasp. He could have been...dreaming? Saix was afraid...he couldn't have been. He rubbed the back of his head and pondered the thought, now even more bewildered than before. "So bizarre..." He whispered to himself.

"Roxas?"

Roxas nearly jumped when he heard Axel's voice. He turned quickly and stared down at him, watching as he held his head in pain. "Axel..." He said softly, staying where he was.

Axel opened his eyes and looked up from the ground, looking bewildered himself. "You...were protecting me." He said in a state of shock.

Roxas kept quiet. The fire in him was slowly beginning to die.

"But...why?" He let out a weak chuckle and pushed off from the ground, now standing tall over Roxas. "Why would...ah, forget it. Thanks, for that." He brought his hand down and looked at Roxas who had already turned hi head in a separate direction. Axel blinked questionably and watched as the blonde turned to walk away. "Hey, Roxas..."

Roxas stopped where he was and lowered his head to stare at the ground. He still remembered what had happened earlier and knew Axel remembered it too. Like he told himself, he wanted to hate him...what was preventing him from doing so? He had worried himself about Axel's safety...he had thought about him the moment he awoke from the cold ground. He neck tingled uncomfortably but he tried not to show it.

"Roxas..." Axel paused and took a step forward. "About...about earlier...I didn't mean to...I mean, it wasn't..." He helplessly stared at Roxas back and let out a long sigh before starting again. "I'm sorry. I never meant for that to happen. It's just, you really amazed me the second you and I met in that dark alleyway. I had to...know more about you. I just, didn't think clearly...maybe I wasn't thinking at all...so, I'm sorry." He continued to gaze at Roxas, hoping he would speak to him again, but when the two were in silence, he sighed again and shut his eyes. "I'm so stupid..."

Roxas heard that whisper and slowly turned his body around until he was facing Axel. His eyes felt restless and he could see tears beginning to cloud them. He tried blinking them back and began walking toward Axel at a slow pace to which Axel opened his eyes and stared willingly at him. Roxas stopped when he was nearly touching Axel and hid his face from him. He could feel those tears coming...he had never felt anything like it before. He didn't want to do it...he didn't want to show _his_ way of heart but it won him over. With a frustrated yell, Roxas thrust himself at Axel's chest and buried his face in his warm body. Tears streaming down his face, he began to fall to his knees, Axel following him down.

"Roxas..." Axel whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around the crying boy. "Come on, Roxas..."

Roxas took in every word and continued to cry, his tears feeling so amazing against his face. He had never cried before so he made the best of it. As to why he was crying...he had too many reasons. As long as he wasn't alone...as long as he was with Axel...it was alright to cry. He grabbed on tightly to Axel's cloak and felt Axel's own hold tighten and bring him close.

"Roxas." Axel said softly when the two were kneeling on the ground, wrapped in a forbidden embrace. He brought his hand to Roxas' spiky blonde hair and stroked it gently, assuring him that he was there. He loved the feeling of Roxas crying into him...it almost felt...like the beating of heart. He continued whispering Roxas' name for the longest time while Roxas cried. At the time when the crying ceased, Axel stared down at the boy and turned his head, gazing at the innocent face he adored so much. Those light eyelashes were now wet with tears and his cheeks: a light pink. He held him tightly and felt him breathe as he slept. Number eight, number thirteen...he liked the sound of that.


	5. Chapter V

_Chap V (**one star**-go to previous chapter to understand more about the star thingy!-)_

_What of dreaming? There are many times of the day when one can experience a dream, regardless of whether they are awake or not. Hallucinations that the mind flashes in the mind...a moving picture with no meaning. A dream can last forever or wither away the moment the eyes are opened. As simple as Nobodies. Nobodies: meaningless, lost creatures yet they can remain alive and be forgotten. Enter the darkness...creatures of darkness. It is what gives them a 'being'. Again, the point that they cannot feel anything stands correct. They are creatures of darkness. Darkness has no feel...no presence...nothing but controlling power. This is why they are dangerous...out of the darkness emerges the shattered souls of those Nobodies. That, is their only feeling: the pain of not containing a heart._

"_Sora."_

"_Huh? Who're you?"_

"_You really don't remember?"_

"_Remember? Remember what?"_

"_What's happened to you, Sora? You're not like the old Sora I once knew."_

"_Who're you talking to? I'm not Sora."_

"_I know."_

"_Then why are you calling me by that name? My name is Roxas."_

"_It's what I like calling you...at least that's what I used to call you."_

"_Axel? Is that you?"_

"_Heh, don't confuse yourself. I'm not supposed to tell you."_

"_Why? Oh, never mind. There're a lot of things I don't know...why should I ask about this?"_

"_Sora, why don't you remember? You and I..."_

"_Huh? What?"_

"_Forget it. You've changed so much...your heart belongs to another now."_

"_But I don't have a heart."_

"_True, you don't. But don't you ever feel it sometimes?"_

"_Maybe...my mind's too messed up right now."_

"_So, he's your new best friend, right?"_

"_Best friend? Wait, you're not talking about Axel, are you?"_

"_Maybe I am."_

"_Well, he's a great guy...a bit weird but he's all I've got right now."_

"_So you're connected...tied to the darkness..."_

"_Huh? I can't hear you."_

"_You'll be completely eclipsed...you still know so little."_

"_Wait! What are you saying!"_

"_You know nothing...therefore, you understand nothing."_

"_What's going on! So—K—R—AXEL!"_

There was a shifting of bedding when Roxas sat up with a shocked jolt. He let out a slight yell and began panting heavily, feeling cold sweat bead on his forehead. A dream...he was dreaming...this time he knew he had been. He slowly lifted his palms and stared into them, envisioning those two blades that he had held. He recalled how they felt: icy yet burning with power. Ever since he had joined the Organization, he had been seeing things. Whether they were dreams or of reality, he did not know. He wished that he could have at least mentioned that to Saix. Curling his hands into fists, he looked up and turned his head to the right then the left. It was dark. He almost thought he might have been trapped in one of those black voids the members of the Order used as transportation. He rubbed the back of his head and ran his fingers against a sensitive spot against his scalp. _"Wait a minute! Axel!"_ He thought suddenly and pushed the sheets away from his body.

"Whoa there, tiger. Take it easy."

Roxas' widened eyes flashed to the cool voice of his companion. At last he felt his panting die.

"You had it rough last night." Axel said nonchalantly through the darkness. Roxas felt the bed sink slightly when he sat at the edge. That voice seemed to be the only one that he felt he could trust.

"Did...you just hear a voice? Just now? Did you hear anything weird?"

"You were probably dreaming. Crying does that to you if you cry right before you sleep." Roxas felt a warm hand being laid underneath his chin and shuddered once. He didn't want this...not again. "You feel fine. Thought you were gonna get yourself sick." The warmness faded and Roxas let out a long sigh, lowering his head, staring at the emptiness of the dark bed.

"Sorr...I mean, never mind."

"Ohh, so you did memorize what I told you!" Axel let out another one of his laughs and pushed roughly at Roxas' shoulder before standing from the bedding.

Roxas rubbed his shoulder absently and began daydreaming again. "_Memorize...oh right! 'I have nothing to apologize for'...but I was, ah, what a mess."_ He looked up again and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his sleeve. "How long have I been sleeping for?"

"Three whole days." Axel said eerily.

"What!"

"Hah! I can't believe you! You should've seen your face!"

"Ah...damn it, Axel!" Roxas crossed his arms behind his head and fell backward, shifting lazily into the suppleness of the bed.

"No, just last night." Roxas felt a light punch on his head but, unable to see through the dim room, was unable to send one back.

"Were you here all night?" He asked at an attempt to change the subject.

"Well," Axel began, his voice coming from a further distance, "I don't wanna slip into corniness but, uhm..." He paused which only increased Roxas' curiosity. "I was really worried about you last night."

Roxas blinked in surprise and began toying with the metal chains dangling from his hood. "Worried? Why?"

"I don't know! I just...you were crying and all so I...uh..."

"Axel, have you ever seen somebody cry?" Roxas said in a hushed tone, turning his head to the side on the softness of his pillow.

Axel was quiet again. Either he was thinking of something to say or he didn't want to say at all. Or maybe he had already left Roxas to ventilate more of his anger. He seemed like the type who would hide his feelings that way. Roxas could picture him being so afraid to answer that he would cover up by making an excuse for leaving. No, Roxas had already seen him do that before...just last night. Saix had said he was angry and was punishing himself. It worried him. Why couldn't he just ventilate in front of Roxas? After all...weren't they somewhat _connected_? The thought of hating him...he wanted to forget all about it now. Yes; he knew they would be close.

"Just you. That's why I was worried. I didn't know what to do..."

"You were holding me though. At least that's something."

"It just felt right to hold you. I mean, you came to me and I didn't wanna throw you to the side or anything. But...although I knew you were hurting, I still found the sight of your tears amazing." Roxas could hear that voice growing closer to him but he didn't move. He simply lay on his pillow, listening to that voice...everything about him sent him to another side of the world. What more was there about him that he could know about?

"I was feeling pretty iffy last night. There were so many reasons why I was crying. Like, being afraid of the darkness, discovering that I'm a Nobody, having to look up to you, the list goes on and on."

"You don't like the fact that I have to take care of you?"

"Well, you scared me at first, I admit that. But, when I got to know you better, I guess that feeling went away. I even told Saix..."

"That I'm more of a friend that any of the other members, I heard."

"You...did? But you were out."

"I woke up right when you two began arguing. I didn't wanna say anything to you 'cause who knows what Saix would have done to you? Knowing that I was awake, he could have attempted to steal you away right in front of me."

"I wouldn't want to go to him. He's not...well, don't take this the wrong way but he's not my type." Roxas chuckled against the pillow and sat up again, facing where Axel's voice was coming from.

"Oh, so I'm your type?" Axel said in a perverted sort of voice.

"Hey! I told you not to take it that way!" Roxas exclaimed, grabbing the large pillow and throwing it into the darkness. When he heard Axel's pained retort, he knew he had aimed right where he wanted and laughed out loud. "You deserved it!"

"Yeah? Well you deserve this!" Roxas heard the sound of rushing footsteps and moved backward, already having a feeling of what was next. There was a strong push at his chest which forcefully pinned him to the mattress. When it hurt to laugh anymore, Roxas let out a content sigh and stared upward. He knew he had to teach himself never to do that again. _"Stupid Roxas! Not this again!"_ He shifted once even though he found it difficult considering the fact that Axel's body lay lounged atop him. He was lost again in the only light in the room and narrowed his own eyes, suddenly feeling drowsy. He didn't mind that Axel was running his fingers through his hair. Truthfully, he loved it beyond explanation. That feeling again: his throat was dry yet another part of him felt so loose...almost like he could do anything.

"Why is it that you almost get quiet when I look at you?" Axel whispered gently in Roxas' ear.

"You tell me." Roxas replied.

"Heh, wanna try and get some sleep again? Maybe you should close your eyes...that's it..." He brought his hand to Roxas' cheek and began to lower his head.

As if by hypnosis, the young teen's eyes shut while he left his lips a bit parted. He wanted this...yes. He wanted him so much. "_Now, do it. Do everything_." At the very thought of them together, a small groan escaped Roxas' throat. That's when he was silenced. To Roxas' dismay, it lasted for only a disappointing split second. Axel's lips had barely touched Roxas before he pushed off of the boy and moved away from the bed. Roxas' eyes shot open and he sat upright as a faint light began to illuminate the room. He turned to see that a small lamp rested beside the bed yet it wasn't as strong a light as the neon signs that flickered outside. At least now he could fully see the teen he was so close to having. Axel turned his back on Roxas and reached for the hood at his back.

"Axel..." Roxas whispered, confused, watching him pull the hood over his handsome face.

"I have a place to be, Roxas. You've got until I come back to practice up on your skills."

"But, you're the one that's supposed to be teaching me, right?"

"You'll be fine. Just find a place where you can be alone. Don't let those other pushovers get to you and if you have a run in with one of 'em, well, I'll leave that to you." Now appearing as ominous as the other members with their hoods, Axel faced Roxas and signaled farewell with two fingers. "Don't miss me too much!" He called through the flames licking at his body. The darkness stole him away.

What little light the lamp provided revealed a rather blank room with ordinary white paint and a black floor. The bed where Roxas had slept in was large enough to accompany two on its plush body. Its backboard was a dark cherry wood with a strangely familiar symbol carved into its surface. Roxas ran his gloved fingers through the symbol and distinguished it as the very symbol that had been on the floor of the gathering room. He wished he knew what it meant. He wanted to ask Axel so many things. He knew he needed him more than ever. But what Axel wanted was probably a little space. He must have spent so much time trying to calm him down last night. He must have stayed awake for countless hours just to know he was alright. He wished he could have cried more often.

As he stood to leave, he suddenly felt the black pants under his cloak feel strangely loose. He bent down and noticed that his zipper had been undone. Shaking his head he brought it back up and thought of Axel again.

"He was right. He is crazy."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Roxas thought he had already mastered his transportation by now. Except for the fact that when he tried to leave his room he ended up atop a building instead of in the streets. Although it was day time, since Axel had mentioned 'last night', the sky remained black as night.

"One more try." He said to himself, thinking of the street directly below him as hard as he could. He pictured its single alleyway and the dark corner where two buildings met. With his feet planted firmly on the rooftop, Roxas was swallowed by black fire before reappearing only a few steps of where he had been earlier on the roof. He groaned in frustration and scratched his head. "What am I doing wrong? Ugh, how does Axel leave so fast and I can't?"

"_Maybe you should think about looking up to new people!"_

Roxas jumped and stared around him on the rooftop. The unfamiliar voice was cutting like a sharp wind rushing past his face in a sharp blow. "Not another one of you!" He yelled into the dark.

"Someone's being rude! You shouldn't judge just by voice, Roxas!" Several feet ahead, a black and amethyst void died away to reveal the suspected hooded figure. The man pulled back his hood with a single hand and immediately smirked at Roxas with amusement in shining in the only eye he had. His right was hidden behind a black eye patch and a few battle scars marked the light skin on his face. Like Saix, this man gave Roxas the impression that he too had been caught up in a past battle. His hair was black with silver streaks running through and was tied off at the back. In each of his hands he wielded a platinum colored, pointed weapon with a shade of purple circling the outer edges of the handle. It must have been his choice of weapon as moon was for Saix, fire was for Axel, and those mysterious blades were for Roxas. "So, how's the training going, Roxas?" The man said in a cocky voice.

"F-fine I guess." _"What am I doing? I shouldn't be talking to his guy. Axel told me to...wait...he didn't tell me anything of what to do if I ran into one of them! Crap!"_

"Name's Xigbar. I just happened to be out on my morning stroll when I caught sight of you training here on the rooftops. Isn't Axel supposed to be with you?" Xigbar questioned, cocking his head to the side.

"He...he had to be somewhere. B-but he's not abandoning me so don't think I'm going off with you! Saix already tried that!" The blonde immediately burst out to give Xigbar the idea that he wasn't about to be taken away.

"Hehe, you've got some imagination kid. Must've gotten that from your human. I don't plan on taking you under my wing like Axel. Heh, actually, I think he's got some nerve to take care of ya." Xigbar said while placing his left hand on his hip, still holding onto his weapon.

"What's wrong with that?" Said Roxas hotly.

"Its got nothing to do with you kid, believe me. You're probably the cleanest guy in this club. Everyone else has a dark secret or habit that they've gotta get fixed; Axel included."

"Huh? What're you talking about?"

"Well, I'm guessing you've already figured out about that anger management he's got. I can't say he's the most trustworthy either. He's got this knack for reeling people in then cutting them off just like that. That's why he's used for the tough jobs most of the time 'cause there's something about him that causes people to believe everything he tells 'em. Know what I mean?"

In a way, Roxas could believe what Xigbar was saying. For once, someone was making sense. Yes; Axel was some sort of an enigma to him. He wasn't sure if his eyes would count as a way he bribed people so he didn't mention it. "Well, sort of." He simply stated.

"I'm actually surprised he hasn't done that to you."

"He wouldn't do that to me. I know he wouldn't."

"Hey, don't count on that just yet, kid. Axel's still unpredictable. He's still doing his job just like the rest of us and his job is to teach you. What do you think he'll do once you're all good? Probably stab you in the back is what."

"He...he wouldn't do that! Stop making things up!"

"No, no, no, Roxas, listen. I'm not being the storyteller here, alright? I'm being the guru for your own benefit. The more you know about the people you're working with, the more you'll be able to maneuver in Organization XIII."

Roxas didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to think of Axel throwing him aside once he felt he was good enough to be accepted. He was his friend...maybe even a best friend already. He remained quiet and tried to ignore the words that sounded so true from Xigbar.

"Let's think for a bit. Picture the Order as a huge maze and at each dead end in the maze, there's a member of the Organization. So, dead end, what're you gonna do if you don't have the slightest idea of who they are? If you wanna be able to turn out of that end without getting your butt kicked, might as well know more about them to prepare. So, if you've got everyone covered, you'll be able to claim that spot at the end of the maze as your own. Simple as that. But, at that dead end, there's always gotta be a secret passageway, even more than one. If you're stuck in Axel's dead end, just think of taking at least thousands of passageways to find who he really is. He's like a maze himself, Roxas. If you ask me, I would think twice before..."

"_Xigbar!"_

No sooner had someone called Xigbar did Roxas' vision become obscured by a sudden flash of red. By the time the warm flash sped past him, Roxas looked up to see that Xigbar had been pushed over and was lying on his back with smoke coming from the burn on his right shoulder.

"Axel!" Roxas exclaimed, staring with his mouth wide open at the red head standing with his back turned against him. He noticed the two sharp weapons that he had been wielding when they first met being held tightly in each of his hands. "I thought you were..."

"Rrroxass..." Axel growled, not bothering to turn his head to speak directly to him. "I leave for a while and this is where I find you!"

"I...what?" Roxas tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you mad at me?"

"I don't have time for this! Get up Xigbar! NOW!" Axel demanded in a tone of voice that Roxas had never heard him use before. He could actually feel his tone of voice pounding at him and clawing at his body. "XIGBAR!" When Xigbar failed to respond, Axel twirled his left weapon in his hand several times before releasing it upon Xigbar's body as he did the first time. Several dancing flames held Xigbar's body captive which seemed to awaken him almost instantly.

"Feeling a bit tense, Axel?" Xigbar said in a strangely amused voice as the fire slowly burned his chest.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Axel yelled and sent his right weapon colliding with the roof. When it burst into a flurry of heat a circle wall of fire wrapped around the two, causing Roxas to loose sight of both. The high flames reflected in Roxas' eyes as he tried to picture what was occurring behind the fiery barrier. All he could hear were the clashing of weapons and the massive cracking of the flames. No voices; nothing but pure battle effects.

After what seemed like an eternity, Roxas was able to see the flames dying to the ground and assumed that the hellish battle between the two had ceased. He hoped that neither one had suffered...but he already knew that Axel was. The air smelled of burnt wood and gun powder as a thin, grey dust cloud emerged from the battle scene and mixed with the wind. When the cloud moved farther away, Roxas' innocent eyes moved to Xigbar's body which was kneeling down weakly. He was breathing. He was sure Axel had killed him. His cloak was now dirtied by the blows of fire he had tolerated and upon his face a newly made scar that trailed from the bottom of his left eye to the center of his left cheek. He panted heavily and his defeated eyes stared up at Axel who too was panting but was standing erect and ready for more.

"Heh, you see, R-Roxas?" Xigbar managed to say through breaths. "What can you learn from someone who loses himself in his own flames?"

"YOU SHUT UP!" Axel barked at him, stomping his foot once on the flat roof.

"You don't deserve this, Roxas." With a last evil smirk, Xigbar weakly lifted the identical weapon in his right hand and pointed it in the direction of Roxas. Roxas gasped lightly and thought of somewhere to run. Anywhere. Anywhere was better than here...but, Axel. He turned toward his friend and watching helplessly as he slumped forward. He knew he was in pain and was tired out from fighting and being angry at the same time. "Heh, have fun with blondie over there, will ya Axel?"

"What?" Axel hissed, glancing over his shoulder at Roxas' shaken body. When his eyes fell upon him, he remembered. His face, those feared eyes that stared into his own. Was he afraid of him? "Roxas."

"Reload!" Xigbar laughed to himself when a bright flash of silver emitted from the end of his pointed weapon. Axel stared down at him and quickly at Roxas.

"ROXAS!"

No good. Roxas had been struck by Xigbar's silver gun shot the second he called out to him. Roxas' eyes went blank. He felt the rush of the sharp pain spread through his chest as he fell backward into mid air. He should have known better than to stand on the edge for now he was free falling to the darkened street below. Falling...the pain in his body, the pain in his mind...all came together as he fell. When all became black, why was it that he wanted to wake to those teal eyes staring down at him?


	6. Chapter VI :2 and a half star warning:

_Chap VI (**two 1/2 stars **three being the highest!)_

_Now this question is growing more and more complex...Is it humanly possible for a heartless being to love another? It can already me stated that the Heartless could never love. They have no need for such a feeling. All they care about are hearts. Yet, Nobodies are the same, sharing that exact obsession with the beating of a heart. Why does passion and lust have to exist? Picturing a universe without these traits already seems tragic. The Keyblade...this unusual weapon wields immense power, enough to defeat Heartless, enough to defeat Nobodies. If passion were never to be born into the worlds, what would the Keyblade's chosen ones be? Nothing would be safe anymore._

It was that feeling again, the feeling of being afraid. He hated it beyond reason. What was there to like about it anyway? It only prevented people from getting from point A to point B. He could have been back on that roof again, training by himself like he wanted without any interruptions. Instead, he had to be afraid and end up somewhere he didn't want to be. Did he like the fact that he had been falling? He admitted: he did but he didn't love it; just liked it. It pulled him into an alternate reality where he could be separated from the fighting, the anger, the wounds, the dreaming. All those things, he truly feared.

Roxas awoke to a cold touch against his neck. He fluttered his eyes open and stared absently into the black sky above him. He tried to remember what had happened to him but a sharp pain at the back of his head forced him to stop trying. Above him, he could see dull colors of the street lights surrounding his body. He could hear them laughing at him and his pain. He could already imagine those unknown shadows staring at him through their piercing yellow eyes with pleasure. He hadn't realized he was crying until the lights became distorted and blurred his sight. Carefully he sat up and vigorously wiped his face, still hearing those annoying little laughs in his head.

"Stop it!" He yelled into the dark and pounded the asphalt beside him with his fist.

It was silent again, at least for a moment before a familiar voice sounded at Roxas' back.

"Roxas," It said firmly.

Roxas lowered his head and shut his eyes, refusing to turn around. "Axel," He replied, keeping his fist closed on the wet, black pavement.

"What in the hell were you thinking up there?" Axel asked hotly.

"Ch, all I was doing was training just like you told me to!"

"But you were fraternizing with Xigbar! I told you that if you run in with one of them, to battle 'em regardless of how they socialize with you!"

"Hey, he looked fine at first!"

"Yeah! At first! Then what'd you figure out? Damn it, Roxas! He had those weapons out and ready! Why else would he carry them when talking to you? Just for fun? Think again!"

"Axel, you're being stupid! I can take care of myself!"

"No! You can't! That's why I have to be around to save you!"

"NO! You don't have to be around me!" Roxas snapped and finally turned around, his sapphire eyes burning immensely with anger.

"You barely know Xigbar and yet you trusted everything he was saying, didn't you!"

"And what if I did? He sounds more rational than you!"

"He's the one that traps people! Don't let him confuse you with those shitty stories! You let him get to know you better and he'll find your weakness and destroy it! That's why..." Axel froze and shook his head, ending his sentence there.

"I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" Roxas bolted from the ground, his raised voice echoing off into the city for anymore of those Nobodies to hear. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AROUND ME! I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE!"

"What? Roxas...!" Axel whispered, sounding a bit taken aback. He straightened and his eyes suddenly softened.

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS! I'M NO ONE'S PROPERTY! I...I...GAH!" Feeling warm tears forming in his eyes, Roxas shut them again and spun around, sprinting off in the opposite direction with his dark cloak flowing behind. He kept his hands tightened and his teeth clenched as he ran with his head facing the ground. He blocked out the sound of his name being called from far behind him and continued to run, feeling the sharp wind slice past his cheeks. He wanted to be alone. He needed to be alone. He didn't want to be...Nobody. By the time he reached the end of the road, the darkness had taken him into its cold embrace.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Work! Come on, work already!" Roxas growled to himself and kicked the wall in front of him with his foot. "Why won't you work?" Just when he thought he had mastered transporting, he was beginning to fail. Now he was appearing in all the wrong places, making wrongs rather than rights. With another frustrated yell, he thrust his fist into the dark brick wall and gave up. His mind was too cluttered to be able to think of a place to escape to. He didn't understand why things were what they were or why they weren't. Why was he so lost amongst people like him? He didn't want to be afraid anymore. He didn't want to run from the darkness or shudder at the presence of light. He wanted to be able to feel that beating in his chest again...that warmth that he recalled telling Xemnas about seemed so amazing now that he thought about it. Why couldn't he have it now? Replace his pain...replace his anger and hatred.

He sniffed once and slipped his arm under his forehead while he listened to the roar of distant thunder. Thunder? Quickly, he turned his attention to the sky and his eyes followed large grey clouds as they rolled into the city, bright strikes of lightning accompanying them. A single drip of rain against his face slowly transformed into several more.

"Great...just great..." Roxas grumbled, settling himself in a growing puddle. He pulled his legs closer to him and hugged them tightly, trying to release some of his tension. It wasn't working. Sitting under the cold downpour only added to the stress. With a long sigh, Roxas lowered his head and buried his face in his already soaked black pants. He felt the iciness of the rain slide down his neck and through his dark clothing. Something about the rain weakened him and made him want to slip into a state of unconsciousness. He wanted to stay where he was for the rest of his life where no one would find him and no one would attempt to destroy him or try and mess up his brain. He would make a living out of counting the raindrops and the ripples they created as they hit the surface of his little puddle. It would just be him, the rain, and the darkness that would forever embrace him. He sniffled again and felt a single warm tear slip down his chin.

"I...miss him..." He said weakly. When he mentioned 'him' he heard two splashes ahead of him and hesitantly looked up from his knees. A few feet from him was another dark cloaked figure with its hood pulled tightly over its face. He watched in awe at the droplets as they hit the figure's drenched body and as the faint wind blew their cloak slightly to one side. It stood perfectly still and straight, seemingly staring with great interest at Roxas' soaked self as he sat shivering in the downpour. Roxas stared back into the nothingness of the figure's hood with his curious azure eyes. He kept his arms crossed over his legs and watched the unknown person walk toward him through the silver shower. When they had stopped close enough to touch him, Roxas glanced up at them then at the gloved hand that they held out before him.

"You're another one of them..." He whispered, staring into its palm.

It remained silent and kept still, still offering its hand to him. Nervously, Roxas slipped his own hand into it and felt its grip tighten on his wrist. That hold on him...so familiar. His eyes beamed up at the hidden face when he whispered, "Axel..."

The body spoke not a word and pulled Roxas up from the ground, taking a single step backward with its hand still wrapped around Roxas' wrist. It turned its hooded face away, as if in shame, and tried to take interest in something that wasn't there.

"Axel..." Roxas repeated, reaching for the person's hood with both hands after their hold on him slipped away. "I know it's you..." The fact that he had to stand on tiptoe just to reach only supported his assumption. The head turned back to face Roxas and when it did, he grabbed the wet hood and slowly pulled it down, hearing the soft tinkle of the silver chains amongst the trickling rain. His eyes met with that same fire red hair he had been longing to see. Now that the rain had been falling on Axel's face, that bright red began to darken into crimson. Roxas brought his hands back to his sides and his eyes moved across Axel's face longingly. For once, Axel seemed to have nothing to say.

"I...you came for me?" Roxas questioned, staring directly into Axel's eyes, something he thought he would never risk doing.

Axel averted his eyes and narrowed them, a look of humiliation written all over his face.

Roxas blinked once and brought his head down, thinking of what to say. What was he supposed to say? There was so much...maybe he could...just this once. Steadily, he moved his head closer to Axel's chest and rested it there. He brought his arms to his own chest and inhaled deeply, catching that scent of fire again. A few minutes past when Axel wrapped his own arms around Roxas: one atop his head and the other around the waist. He brought Roxas' head closer to him and finally spoke.

"To think...Xigbar nearly destroyed my weakness..."

Roxas' eyes widened and he thought back to what Axel had said earlier. Xigbar was known for finding someone's weakness as a way to destroy them. "Me? You're talking about me?"

He felt Axel nod and buried his face in his chest again, a smile curling his lips.

"You weren't injured from that fall. Luckily I was able to catch you before you hit the ground. At least you're..." He stopped and tightened his embrace.

"I'm what?" Roxas asked.

"You're ok, right?" Axel asked hastily.

"Axel," Roxas looked up at him, again staring into his teal eyes directly, "why don't you tell me what you're feeling?"

"Huh? What're you talking about?"

"I know you hide so many of your feelings to me."

"Roxas, a Nobody can't have feelings. You know that."

"No...we can. And we do. I cried, remember? You worried about me, I worried about you. Those right there are feelings."

Axel said nothing.

"Every time you try to say something, you stop yourself and make some excuse that you have to be somewhere else. Either that or you laugh about it. Axel, don't you trust me enough to tell me things?"

"I do trust you but...what's there to tell?"

"No, don't do that," Roxas said softly, laying his head against Axel's body again. "There's a lot I still don't know about you but, I want to know everything. Only you can help me accomplish that. Before you let me be by myself, at least tell me about whom you know you are."

"Roxas..."

"Promise me that."

"I..." Axel paused, thinking of whether to continue or not, and started again. "I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"Huh?"

"The moment I saw you, Roxas, you were that shivering little kid that wouldn't even show his face to me. But when you did, I still knew you were afraid. That time I did those things to you...I knew that I scared you. You proved me right when you said that I had scared you before. I don't want you to be...not me..."

Roxas understood...finally he understood Axel. "I don't want to be afraid of you...I don't want to hate you either. I just want...to be able to look at you and...and..."

"You're just afraid to love, right?"

"I'm not...!" Roxas quickly looked up again, suddenly feeling the coldness of the rain leave him when he stared up at Axel's face. His sentence trailed off so suddenly that he almost forgot that he had mentioned anything at all. He felt so loose again...

"Sure. You say that but look at you now," Axel's eyes softened again and narrowed just as they had done in Roxas' room.

"A-Axel..." Roxas drew in a sharp breath and shut his eyes, feeling weak in the knees. He felt the rain from Axel's face drip down his chest. He needed him so badly. "I'm sorry...this time, I really have to say I'm sorry. I don't want you to be away from me..."

"I know."

"I didn't mean it. I was just...mad. Not at you but I took it out on you. I shouldn't have..."

"Shh. I know. I used to be afraid like you when I realized I was a Nobody. I know," Axel paused, leaving the two in silence again.

"Don't run from me, Roxas," Axel whispered finally, bringing his face closer to Roxas.

"As long...as long as you don't run from me," Finally, Roxas felt Axel's lips meet his and not for a split second. At last he had him in a kiss. He felt Axel's fingers run through his drenched hair again and knew he would loosen up even quicker now. He felt his soft tongue brush against his lower lip and immediately he parted his lips for Axel to enter him. Over and over the two kept tongue twisted. He tasted better than Roxas thought he would. Something about the fact that they were making love felt forbidden. Roxas didn't know what this feeling meant. Was it wrong for two Nobodies like them to show heart like this? He didn't care. Nobody or not, if it was wrong, he didn't want to be right.

"Ro-x-as..." Axel hissed in between their kiss, forcing his body against his lover until they were up against a wall.

An exhilarated Roxas groaned the moment he hit the wall and instantly he arched his back as Axel's wet tongue trailed across his jaw. His scent was driving him insane. Was he really a friend? Friends wouldn't do such amazing things to you. Mouth to mouth, warm body pressed against him, it felt so good.

'_My turn."_ Roxas thought eagerly, already grabbing hold of Axel's cloak zipper and dragging it down. Roxas' soft lips pressed affectionately against Axel's neck, licking away the cool drops of rain against his fair skin. He heard a light gasp escape Axel's throat and knew he was doing well for his first time. He laid his hands on Axel's shoulders, attempting to leave him half naked for his pleasure. The heat, the immense passion, the pleasing noises...

"Roxas..." Axel said suddenly, grabbing Roxas' hands while panting heavily.

Roxas paused and realized that he too had been nearly out of breath. "Why? What..."

"Shh," Axel placed a slender finger over Roxas' mouth and shook his head. "Don't say anything but, someone might be here."

Roxas lowered his hands from Axel's body and relaxed his back against the wall again. True; their moaning could probably be heard from the other side of city. If someone from the Organization saw them...Roxas nodded once and kept silent as Axel told him to do. But what good would any of their fun be without the extra effects?

"Let's get outta here. Just you and me. I know a place where we can go."

"Where?"

"Shh. Stay close to me and don't make a sound until I say so."

The blonde nodded and held on tightly to Axel's body, already so excited to leave. Those familiar black flames wrapped around him and his companion, shutting them in darkness and silencing the trickling of the dancing rain. Anywhere but here...so long as his weakness was by his side.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Despite the cold embrace of the flames, Roxas' body felt amazingly hot. Not warm, hot. He no longer shivered; he no longer felt the longing of wanting to be alone. His arms wrapped possessively around his mentor's waist while a separate pair of arms held him tightly to his body. He could feel him breathing down his neck which sent bumps down his spine. What had he been thinking earlier? Had he even been thinking at all? Alone? He barely knew the word now. He barely knew any word at the time in darkness. Only one remained tattooed on his mind: _Axel_. Soon, he knew he would be screaming that name. Over and over he would scream it to the darkness, to the world. Now what was he thinking? He wasn't sure. As it felt, his feelings of passion were controlling his frail body while the unbearable heat drove him to the edge of his seat.

At last, Roxas' vision was restored and immediately his deep blue eyes shot through the darkness the two of them were surrounded in. A rush of deep amethyst fell to the ground, leaving only the shade of black in Roxas' eyes. He didn't want to let his lover go. Tightening his arms around that slim waist, Roxas stared up at Axel's eyes, the only feature he could distinguish on his face.

"Where are we?" Roxas asked innocently, the way his voice would normally be if he hadn't been so troubled in the past.

"Take a guess," Axel said with a light laugh that Roxas could feel.

Roxas' sense suddenly sharpened when he thought of their current location. Considering the darkness, he envisioned the way his room had been when he awoke on that soft bed. He smiled lightly when he thought of his bed but, knowing Axel's fiery personality, thought otherwise. He drew in a deep breath and captured that burning scent again, this time stronger than when he had sensed it before. Now he felt captive as if he was in a pure inferno. His smiled widened when he replied, "Your place."

"Hehe, you know me too well, Roxas. I'm impressed," Axel's sly voice rang in Roxas' ear, sending even more chills down his spine. He had to tighten his grip on his waist just to remain standing.

"Oh, god, just take me now!" Roxas exclaimed, attempting to get into that moment again. A lower part of his body suddenly became uncomfortable.

"Think of this as training, Roxas," Axel said somewhat evilly. Roxas felt his body slip away from his embrace and stared into the darkness in confusion. His arms fell to his sides and he continued to eye the shadows absently. That scent...it aroused his body so badly. Nervously, he turned and began to back away, suddenly feeling something from behind. A stiff surface came in contact with the back of Roxas' leg which gave him the thought that he had just found the bed.

"Training?" He asked after sometime, remaining stationary where he was.

Seconds passed; long, impatient seconds. Still, Roxas waited, keeping his eyes glued to the very darkness that resided in front of him...until...

A sudden force at his chest sent Roxas backward, returning him to that very sensation of falling. The only difference was, he didn't like it; he _loved_ it. The cloud like cushion hugged around his body. At least he could trust things were going to be comfortable. His arms were now spread to the side, pinned down by Axel's obsessive grasp. His knees were bent with his feet laying flat on the bedding while between his parted legs was that body he so desperately wanted.

"Don't think of this as a sin. Think of it more as...well, advanced tutoring." Axel growled, staring down seductively at his captured prize. "You can learn a lot from this, Roxas. Might as well take note of it but..." He carefully lowered his head to Roxas' ear and spoke again, keeping his voice down to a whisper. "Keep it as our dirty little secret."

Roxas didn't bother to answer. His bright eyes followed Axel's as they came closer to his face. Closer...closer...now. He felt that warm tongue against the front of his neck again, inching slowly toward his chin. Roxas' eyes narrowed when he made more room for Axel to move by arching his head backward. Both still wet with rain suddenly felt water form into steam.

"Nnh..." Roxas groaned, feeling Axel's hand brush against the side of his left leg.

"I'm not stopping..." Axel whispered between his passionate kisses.

"I...no, go. I want this...!" Roxas growled through clenched teeth, feeling so helpless.

As Axel's mouth continued to trail Roxas' neck, Roxas felt his hand being laid atop his concealed area and he shot his eyes open. With his one free hand, he held the back of Axel's head and pushed him deeper into his neck. Roxas wanted his turn. His mind raced, his thoughts were obscured, his body felt as if he could do anything. Anything, everything! He wanted to show Axel he wasn't so innocent. He could feel sweat beginning to bead his forehead by the time Axel had covered his neck at least a dozen times. The red head pulled away, allowing Roxas to do as he pleased. Roxas' warm mouth locked with his companion's again, tasting him, trying his hardest to have that taste caught on his limp tongue. His hand shot for Axel's zipper again, dragging it down until it reached its end. Still locked, Axel and Roxas sat themselves on the sheets, tugging at each other's black uniform, touching each other's bare skin.

Still on his turn, Roxas pulled Axel's black undershirt up and over his head, leaving him half naked as he had wanted before. _"He's mine."_ He whispered in his head, forcing his body on Axel, running his fingers against that hot skin, dragging his tongue along that strong chest. Axel drew in a sharp breath and pushed Roxas' head further into him. Nothing could stop him. He wasn't weak but here, making endless love to him was his very weakness. He tightened his grip on Roxas' bare shoulder and slowly moved Roxas on his back again, eying him with his penetrating gaze. Roxas found his turn rather pleasuring. It wasn't over...Axel's turn was now.

Axel's hand moved to Roxas' pants zipper, causing the blonde to recall the first time they had occupied a bed together. His breathing quickened when he felt his metal zipper slowly being pulled down, down, until he lay there, nothing but his boxers covering what was left on his body. He swallowed hard and felt Axel's bare hands touch the inside of his legs inching toward his stomach. Roxas felt rather sensitive when those smooth hands touched him in the middle and he shifted slightly. His sensitivity melted away when that familiar wetness came in contact around his bellybutton. The surprising softness of Axel's crimson hair against Roxas' body gave him that sense of comfort and heat. This feeling...this intense warmth..._a heart_.

"_A-Axel..._" Roxas whispered his name seductively and began to sit himself up again, taking the wheel. He tugged at Axel's zipper as well and soon, the two of them were nearly naked. All Roxas wanted was one hundred percent. Switching positions, Roxas was able to pin Axel now, intertwining their fingers when they entered each other's mouths.

"_Ro-x-as..._" Axel growled, his voice beginning to raise with pleasure.

"Scream it..." Roxas whispered, pulling away for only a split second.

"_Ro-x-as..._" His voice was rising slightly.

"_Axel...!"_ Roxas exclaimed in a faintly raised voice, feeling his mentor's hands pulling at his boxers. He copied him, pulling them down until he had one hundred percent. Their clothes lay scattered on the ruffled bed, tossed unwanted to the ground. He forced his body atop Axel's, feeling each other's heat collide. Mouth to mouth, body to body...

"_AXEL!_" Roxas couldn't contain his voice any longer and screamed that name into the darkness.

"_ROXAS!_"

These two names...anyone who heard would instantly know they were together. The thoughts of the Organization, battles, anger, hatred, and Nobodies slipped away from Roxas' mind the moment he slipped into those vibrant eyes. He had never kissed...he had never revealed his body...he had never screamed anyone's name. Now, he had completed them; every single one. And, as he mentioned, it felt so right.

Exhausted, Roxas laid his body on the un-kept bed, panting and sweating like crazy. Axel: the same. His eyes narrowed tiredly, Roxas looked over at his lover and inched toward him, using the remaining bit of energy he had to lay his head against Axel's chest. He felt the coolness of a thin sheet being pulled over his naked body and relaxed himself, steadily feeling his mind slip into unconsciousness.

"You're mine," Axel whispered tiredly, cradling Roxas' head under his chin, feeling that soft blonde hair touch his skin.

Roxas shut his eyes and nodded once.

"No one in this Organization can change that...got it memorized?" His voice suddenly trailed off. They were now each other's prisoner to their 'hearts'.


	7. Chapter VII

_Chap VII_

_Upon further studying the Nobodies, these questions are finally beginning to clear. Still, the fact that this is happening is dangerous. A Nobody isn't created to feel. A Nobody is created to search for heart. Nothing should come between that main purpose. Maybe questions are better left unanswered. Perhaps actions are better than words._

"_Hello again, Sora."_

"_Huh? You...it's you."_

"_Yeah, 'you' as you say. Seems like the only name important to you is Axel's."_

"_W-what are you talking about?"_

"_I wish you'd remember, Sora. Best friends aren't supposed to forget each other, despite their differences and distance."_

"_Best friends? Just tell me who you are."_

"_As if you would be interested. Besides, I already told you. I'm not supposed to tell you."_

"_Why? Why can't you?"_

"_That's for me to know. Besides, you seem pretty content as it is. My name isn't going to change you."_

"_How would you know?"_

"_No, Sora, how would you know?"_

"_Well...hey, I thought I told you that my name is Roxas."_

"_Roxas, Sora, what's the difference?"_

"_The names. That's the difference."_

"_Last night, you shared a bed with him, didn't you?"_

"_Uh, well...I mean..."_

"_Are you ashamed?"_

"_No...I couldn't be. He...he's my..."_

"_Heart. Your heart...your flaw...isn't that what he is?"_

"_Y-yes."_

"_Sora, you've changed...all I need from you is to remember your name."_

"_Name? But Roxas is my name!"_

"_Sora..."_

"_Stop it!"_

"_I understand. Hmm, Roxas. I'll remember."_

It felt strangely cool when Roxas awoke, his head feeling light and his body feeling drained of energy. Eventually, he opened his eyes to half way and found himself staring at a white ceiling. He shifted and buried his head deeper into his pillow, attempting to bring his mind back to the way it normally was. Maybe it was the way the room made him feel: dazed and light headed. Or maybe it was just the way he had been the other day. He could recall sitting in the rain, thinking about nothing but wanting to be alone. He could picture the face of Xigbar as he offered him advice of how to maneuver in the Organization and the enraged face of Axel when the two of them fumed at each other after his blank moment of falling. He wished he hadn't tried to remember any of it. All he wanted to remember was to forget.

He groaned and tucked his arm under his head, staring up at the ceiling again. The sudden sound a zipper being pulled caught his attention and he turned his head on the pillow, facing an unoccupied side of the bed. Seated at the edge was that manipulative Nobody. The very Nobody that had showed him heart and that Nobody that had taken him. He blinked and slowly sat up, pulling the sheets over the lower half of his body.

Hearing the shifting of the white bedding, Axel straightened and glanced half way over his shoulder, continuing to gaze at the dark floor. "Oh, you're awake, huh?" He asked casually, almost as if nothing had happened, and continued to pull on his left boot.

Roxas opened his mouth to speak but swallowed his words. He had wanted to ask about that voice again but remembered that only he must have heard it since he had been asleep. A conversation...that couldn't have been a dream. Then again, many things felt as if they were. "Are you...leaving for somewhere?" He asked instead, reaching for his boxers that lay messily in the center of the bed.

"I've got things to take care of," He replied, refusing to turn and speak to Roxas directly.

"Oh. Well, I guess I'll just keep training then, huh?" Roxas said, standing from the bed to zip up his pants.

Axel laughed lightly and rested his hands on the mattress. "So that run down we did wasn't enough for you then?"

Roxas felt his face heat up and immediately knew he was blushing. "Erm...well, t-that's different. That wasn't even training!"

"Yeah, sure," Axel scoffed.

"Sometimes I wish you'd just lay off being crazy for one day." Roxas mumbled, zipping up his black cloak to complete his outfit.

"Sure you do," Axel taunted in an almost perverted tone of voice.

"I mean it!" The blonde retorted, turning around with his hands curled into fists.

Axel turned his head and shot his eyes into Roxas' flaming ones. "You know, you're cute when you're ticked off like that."

"Wh-what?" Roxas blinked and felt another rush of heat on his face. _"Did he just call me 'cute'?"_ He gaped at him, his mind racing again.

"I knew it," Axel sighed and rested his arms over his parted legs, turning away again from the dumbstruck boy. "You're ashamed," he said in a stubborn voice at an attempt to hide his dissatisfaction.

There was a sudden movement in the bed when Axel had finished. Still, he kept his eyes directly forward. _"Don't say anything...don't-say-anything!"_ He yelled in his head. He felt a light warmth at his back when Roxas' chest pressed against his back. He felt those two slim arms wrap loosely around his neck and narrowed his eyes, Roxas' innocence taking him by force. He could feel the suppleness of Roxas' light hair against his cheek and carefully turned his head, able to see part of that angelic face at the corner of his eye.

"I have no reason to be ashamed," Roxas whispered softly into his ear, nudging his cheek with his lips. "As you said, I belong to you. I couldn't be embarrassed by that."

Axel scoffed lightly, a thin smile forming on his face. "You love me. Don't you, kid?"

Out of all the questions Roxas had been asked, he felt this was the easiest to answer and a rush of relief flew past him. "Yeah, pretty much. And stop calling me kid," He teased and tightened his embrace around Axel's neck, so tightly that it made Axel gag.

"Roxas!" He yelped, gasping for air.

Roxas simply laughed playfully and pulled away, rolling off the bed as a fast getaway. "I bet you hate me now!" He teased as Axel stood chased him around the room. He couldn't remember a time when he could force himself to laugh like this, smile like this, play like this. What was happening to him? Was he going ballistic? No, that couldn't have been it. He felt too comfortable to be crazy in that way. He was crazy but not in an irrational way. As Xemnas had mentioned before, Nobodies are rational unlike the Heartless. His mind felt so clear now. His chest no longer felt empty and his body no longer felt so frail and afraid. He liked this. No, loved it. He wished it would always be that way...but he still wondered how long a Nobody was supposed to last...

Nearly out of breath, Roxas froze in place, bending over slightly to catch his breath again.

"Gotcha!"

Instantly, Roxas knew stopping was a good thing and simply smiled lightly, shutting his eyes when he felt a strong push at his back. He loved hugging, really. Something about it made him want to relax and fall upon his bed again. Feeling Axel's slim arms tighten comfortably around his neck, Roxas' smiled widened as he straightened, feeling Axel breathe down his neck as he had last night. Roxas belonged to him...he lied yesterday. He _was _someone's property and, to his surprise, he didn't mind it.

"Love you; hate you, hell, anything as long as you're ok with it," Axel whispered serenely, lightly pressing his lips against the back of Roxas' neck.

Roxas chuckled and grabbed Axel's hand, absently brushing the back of his gloved hand with his thumb. After some time had passed, Roxas felt Axel slip away from him and suddenly became anxious. Frowning, he held on tightly to Axel's hand and turned to face him.

"Where're you going?" Roxas asked, taking a single step toward him.

"You heard what Xigbar said, right? Xemnas always gives me the hard jobs to take care of so I've got to complete them," Axel muttered.

"But your job's to stay with me, isn't it?" Roxas asked, lowering his head disappointedly.

"I've got more than one sometimes. That's just how it works when you're with Organization thirteen."

"But..." Roxas paused, trying to steer away from sounding desperate, and started again, "if that's the case, then what happens to me? Where do I go?"

He heard the same laugh that he had heard ever since the two of them had met and blinked once, still keeping his eyes glued to the white floor. He liked hearing him laugh like that. If the Organization was truly made up of Nobodies, then how was it that they were able to laugh? It didn't make sense...his mind was clouding again. He shook his head, attempting to rid of his confusion. When the room fell into silence, Roxas released Axel's hand, letting his own fall weakly back to his side.

"You go where ever you feel you need to be...besides, it's not like I'll be gone for an eternity, right?" Axel said calmly, taking a few steps forward until he stood directly in front of his companion.

"I..." Roxas began but swallowed his words, refusing to continue.

"Oh, I get it," Axel began again and carefully placed his finger under Roxas' chin, tilting Roxas' head upward until they met eye to eye. He wondered why Roxas always seemed stunned when they made contact that way. Staring into those deep eyes now made him wonder even more. Pure blankness and innocence resided in those pools of blue each time it happened. Shutting his eyes, he lowered his head and lips met lips again.

Roxas' eyes widened and remained so until Axel pulled away, bringing his hand back. Hugging was nice but kissing...that was a different narrative. He stood as frozen as ice as he watched Axel back away and pull his hood over his face as he had last night. With his face hidden from Roxas' curious eyes, Roxas knew he was leaving...no matter what he might have tried to say or do, he was going to leave him.

"You'd better look out for yourself, got it?" Axel taunted; the dark void already hugging his body.

"You should worry more about yourself!" Roxas called back.

"Me? Maybe you're the crazy one! I can take care of myself!" As Axel's laugh died away, Roxas thought of what he had last said while staring into the disappearing black void.

"Right..." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. How could he trust those words? Everyone in the Organization seemed to be out to destroy both of them. When they were apart, it just seemed to be the best time for the members to make a move. Organization XIII...

"_Roxas."_

Roxas blinked and shot his head upward, staring in every direction for the familiar voice. "X-Xemnas?" He asked into the empty space.

"_We have to speak with each other again."_

"We...do?"

"_I trust you to know where."_

"What's this about?" He asked slowly.

"_...Have you heard of a boy named Sora?"_


	8. Chapter VIII

Chap VIII

_Why is it that things come to an end? Supposedly because everything has a beginning and where there are beginnings, there is an ending. Hearts have end. In fact, it's considerably one of most obvious in the universe to expire. But when hearts die, does love? Where does the content of a heart travel once its bloody chamber has left it to drift? The chained memories of the heart must become lost without a place to reside. Hearts hold people prisoner, this is true. And once the heart is gone, people still remain captive to emptiness. Either way, we are always prisoners of something so simple to the eye yet immensely complex to the body._

"Have you heard of a boy named...So—" Roxas spoke slowly, choking on his last word. He shook his head and stared at the floor, his eyes being controlled by the ominous light seeming to emanate from its ghostly surface. Why did that name seem so familiar to him? Just as Xemnas' had...

He thought back to the voice he had heard before in his dreams. Could that have been the person Xemnas asked him about? But that voice referred to him as 'So-ra'. He attempted to mouth the words but failed, only accomplishing a weak 'So'. Why? Why couldn't he say it? He wanted to ask so many questions. The thoughts and events that he held bottled up in his body were slowly filling him again. He didn't like this feeling. He wished he could have stayed asleep...or better yet, disappear.

He shook his head furiously and grabbed both sides of his head with his hands, trying to cancel out his thoughts of being alone again. He needed something to hold, something to fall onto.

"_Roxas."_

Roxas looked up from the ground to the ceiling, releasing his head. Nodding once at nothing, he stared forward, attempting to think of where Xemnas wanted for him to be. _"Think straight, Roxas. Think straight..."_ He wished he could have trained longer or that he had some guidance. Drawing a deep breath, he became blinded by the sight of contorting darkness and faded. Truthfully, he was afraid again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"_Do you remember your true name?"_

"_Riku...Riku's here."_

"_The door has opened, Sora. Now we can go to other worlds."_

"_What about...?"_

"_We'll go...together."_

"_Best friends aren't supposed to forget each other, despite their differences and distance."_

"_We have many differences...I just wish we didn't have so much distance."_

He heard voices swirling in his head but remained silent, keeping his eyes lost in the shadows of his void. He didn't want to try and say the next name he heard and kept his mind fixated on his destination. Who was Xemnas? What made him who he was? What was he like? There, now. Feeling the presence of light, the blonde slowly opened his eyes and viewed his surroundings with a slight feel of relief. He recognized the room as the one that Xemnas had brought him into while the other members waited in the gathering room.

Not much of a difference...just the same bright white...the same stillness and barrier of silence. He took a step forward and spoke, "Xemnas, I'm here."

When he ended, his eyes fixed onto a dark nothingness that was steadily falling to the ground in utter silence. He said nothing and waited patiently, thinking of nothing else but what their conversation would be like. In other words: everything.

"How long ago was it that Axel found you, Roxas?" Xemnas inquired once he came into full view: black hood pulled tightly over his face again.

"A while...I really don't keep track of the days," Roxas replied.

"Saix mentioned to me he asked you of how the Organization was treating you."

"He...didn't tell you about anything else, did he?"

"He mentioned you protecting Axel with two strange blades that backed him away."

Roxas stared into his empty palms and nodded. "Yeah. I haven't used them ever since."

"You wield those two blades for a reason, Roxas. You cannot forget about them for in reality, they are a part of who you are."

"They...are?"

Xemnas paused and started again, asking the same question he had to lead Roxas to him. "Have you heard of a boy named Sora?"

Roxas blinked and stared into Xemnas' dark hood, a perplexed look written on his face. "Why can you say that name and I can't?"

"Have you heard of him?" Xemnas repeated with his voice remaining monotonous.

"N-no...only in these strange dreams I keep having."

"Someone is speaking to you, correct?"

He raised an eyebrow at the Organization's leader and nearly gaped at him. "How...did you know?"

"The one speaking to you is not of importance to the Order. They are simply a nuisance to your mind. There is nothing I can do to prevent those past conversations with them from lingering in your memories. Therefore, it is only natural that I tell you..."

"What the dreams mean," Roxas interrupted.

"No, not the dreams. That I tell you about whom Sora is."

"Fine. Just tell me."

"You see, Roxas, you are Nobody...therefore, you have another half. That other half is Sora."

"Sora..." Roxas grabbed at his throat in an instant, trying to force out words he wanted to say but failed.

"Sora was created into a Heartless around the time Kingdom Hearts was a door awaiting to be sealed. Once he became a shadow, his Nobody took form. You, Roxas, have no memory of how you came to end up in this world because you, literally, have no past to remember. All your memories reside in Sora."

"Where...is Sora?" Roxas asked gloomily.

"His whereabouts are of no concern to you. Being in this Organization, it is necessary to never cross paths with your human."

"But, why?"

"You risk being joined with him if you do. Now, all you have to worry about is obtaining a heart of your own without having to rely on Sora."

"But since I'm half of Sora, he must be incomplete...how's he alive if I'm not there?"

"You ask this question but really, how is it that you and I and all Nobodies are able to _be_ if we are missing something so great in our bodies? How is it we are able to _be_?"

"I...don't...know."

"What do you expect to do now, Roxas?"

"What?"

"Where do you plan to go now that you know the truth?"

"I...there's no where I _can_ go, right?"

"There are many places for you to go but, from what you constantly tell yourself, alone is where you desire to be."

Roxas said nothing.

"No? Maybe you just fear being alone and only wonder what it feels like."

Roxas kept silent, his bright blue eyes shutting tightly.

"Sora is no longer of any importance to you, Roxas. It would be wise to steer away from those words that your dreams say to you. You will remain who you are..."

He said nothing.

Xemnas stared at the blonde teen through his dark hood, keeping as silent as Roxas was at the moment. Roxas truly was Sora...he could see Sora, standing within Roxas' frail body as dormant as someone seconds from death. Still, Roxas knew so little about who he was...who Sora was. He would have to discover by himself or discover nothing at all. Roxas would hold his own name once he obtained his own heart...Sora would hold his own. Neither would rely on each other.

"Farewell...Roxas." Xemnas said finally, already fading as quickly as he had appeared, leaving a confused and beaten Roxas to feel loneliness like he knew he wanted.

Not bothering to watch Xemnas depart, Roxas kept his eyes shut and felt his knees begin to fail on him. He needed something to fall onto, something to embrace, and something to...cry into. Cry...he let it take him over and fell to the ground on all fours, his weak sobbing reverberating off the walls. He pounded the ground with his fist and let out a frustrated yell just as he had the first time he had felt tears escape him. Wipe them away...he couldn't...no matter how much he wanted; he couldn't stop them from coming. He found himself cursing to himself, to whatever was willing to hear a lost boy scream. Now, he wanted to leave but not alone. He wanted to escape from this world...but not alone.

"_Think straight, Roxas...think straight,"_ someone whispered. Someone was there...someone was willing to hear him scream...watch him cry. As he continued to wet the floor with his tears, now attempting to calm himself, he steadily lifted his head to face whoever was there. If he had a heart, he knew it would have skipped a beat...

"No..." And his world fell.


	9. Chapter IX

_Chap IX_

_There is something in the human body that allows them to live. No, it isn't the heart yet it is created from within it. Although every living being with a heart does well to keep it within them, they fear it just the same. Blood. That's right. That's what it was called. A thick, dark red liquid that flows through the human body. Aat the very sight of it, people become panic stricken, yet, when the Heartless and the Nobodies see it, they praise its presence. Is this because it reminds them of hearts? Do they wish to be able to bleed as well? Without a beating heart, both Nobodies and Heartless cannot bleed. However, to kill either one, loss of blood is not necessary..._

"_You should have listened...you should have..."_ Roxas became lost now. He entirely rid of his thoughts of Xemnas...of Sora...of himself. The floor beneath him felt cool to the touch as his tears began to seep through his gloves and meet with his weak hands. He didn't mind it and continued to stare forward, unblinking. This wasn't real...he was dreaming again. Yes, he had to be.

Slowly raising one hand after kneeling on the ground, Roxas covered his eyes and shut them. _"Wake up...please..."_ When he failed to, he knew this wasn't a dream no matter how much he wished it was for the first time in his life.

"_The...Superior...was he here?" _He heard the hooded person before him ask in a dull, yet relaxed voice that revealed his young age hidden behind his outfit. Roxas said nothing, keeping his eyes to a separate being in the unknown member's arms with one hand closed over his lips.

He heard the person scoff once and watched as they held on tightly to their unconscious, captive victim in bridal fashion. Roxas stared into the face of that victim, feeling his very existence slip away. His stomach gave a sudden turn and he coughed, shaking his head vigorously in disbelief. He knew he shouldn't have left...why did he have to be so stubborn? Now the truth was clear: neither he nor Axel could watch out for themselves.

"Was he here?" The figure asked again, staring down at Roxas' shaking body.

Roxas looked up from the ground and could barely take the sight of Axel's seemingly deceased body being held in the arms of a stranger. "He...was..." He responded weakly, trying not to anger the member by asking about Axel.

"Where is he now?"

"I...I don't know."

"Fool..." Swiftly, they shook the black hood away from their face to reveal their face to Roxas. Roxas stared up at the strange man, observing the same snake-like shape to his eyes as Saix's. His hair fell just below his shoulders in a fairly light shade of pink. A slim smile was currently upon his lips giving Roxas the impression that he wasn't there to play nice. Then again, who in the Organization ever did? He may not have crossed paths with all of them, but he knew...he knew no one was to be trusted here...not even himself.

"You share this trait with him..." He ridiculed, staring down at Axel's face immorally. Roxas responded in an instant, forcing myself to stand from the ground to face him. Roxas' once crying eyes suddenly flared and his face felt strangely warm.

"Get your hands off of him..." Roxas hissed.

He looked up, remaining quite still where he had been, and his sharp smile widened. Roxas already hated the fact that this man reminded him of Saix and wished he had those two blades back. If they turned Saix away, they would surely work on him.

"He came to challenge me. And...as you can see, he failed miserably."

"I don't care!" I fumed, "Put him down!"

"He's no use to you, is he?" He paused and suddenly cocked his head to the side. "Oh, I see. He's your teacher, isn't he?"

"I'm not gonna tolerate you damn members anymore...!"

"Hmm, I see. You see what Xemnas had done to this Organization? Such a pretender...nothing but a ridiculous fool..." Roxas grinded his teeth and tried to picture what those blades were like. How was it he made them appear? He had enough of the talking...he had enough with the depressing thoughts...

"This Organization needs better leadership...a stronger Superior...honestly, Axel, look where Xemnas has placed you now..." Carefully, he knelt down, laying Axel's unmoving body on the floor before straightening again and casually stepping over him as if he no longer existed.

"Good, now get out of here," Roxas demanded, threatening with his fist.

"Roxas...am I saying it correctly?"

"I don't care. Just get out of my sight already..."

The man shook his head and his smile was suddenly gone. "Anyone who stands up to me doesn't deserve to reside in Organization XIII."

"You're not Xemnas...you don't decide who goes and who stays." Roxas' eyes slowly drifted behind the man to Axel and immediately he became desperate. Why weren't those blades with him now? He feared for the worst if this man wasn't about to leave...

"_Come on, think...think hard...now!"_ Roxas stared into his empty hand and waited. Still, no weapon.

"Xemnas is of no importance to me. The only thing I have to thank him for is introducing me to this Organization of Nobodies. Now that I know such a group exists, I can claim it as my own..." The man kept his voice low and raised his arm with his open palm directed to the ceiling. Roxas clenched his teeth and took a step backward, watching as a sudden flash struck the man's hand before revealing to him a weapon. Swiftly, he tightly grasped the weapon's handle and propped it atop his shoulders, the dark pink blade of the scythe reflecting Roxas' face on its glossy surface.

"Xemnas has clearly failed to pick trustworthy members...just look at you and Axel," He muttered, his serpent eyes staring down upon the apprehensive blonde who was refusing to keep his eyes straight on one target.

"Look who's talking." Roxas felt a drip of sweat slip down his chin and knew no matter what he did or thought, his weapons would not show. He became hesitant, nervously shooting his eyes at both Axel and his, no, _their_ new threat. He had to do something...anything. He didn't even know if Axel was...no! He shook his head in frustration and rid of that thought. He wasn't gone. He wasn't...

_BANG!_

"What?" He heard the man whisper, noticing that his attention now darted to something at Roxas' back that had created that noise.

"_Now!"_ With the man distracted, Roxas shot forward passed him, feeling his mind race while the tips of his fingers tingled eagerly. He needed to be with him...he needed to feel him again...especially now. Especially now...

"Axel!" He yelled, immediately flinging his body atop his companion's, only hoping his movement had awoken him. He looked up and stared at his soft face, still unable to see his euphoric eyes open. "It's ok...we're ok..." Roxas whispered, suddenly finding himself caressing his best friend's cheek. He had to say everything was alright...no matter what was occurring, he had to say it. He didn't want a negative attitude anymore.

"_You!"_

"You..." He heard the man hiss behind him.

Roxas kept his eyes upon Axel but couldn't help but wonder who had suddenly called out behind him. He didn't want to look, fearing it was another Nobody willing to fight. No more fighting...no more confusion...he didn't want this anymore. Neglecting the man's presence and the presence of who ever had confronted him, Roxas concentrated on nothing but somewhere to escape to although he found it slightly difficult considering that he also thought of Axel's condition. The shadows of his void now contained both him and Axel, causing him to commit to memory of when they first were together in these unpredictable black flames.

"_Sora...!"_ Was the last he heard from the strange man as the two of them began to fade. The clashing of blades ended everything for him. Yes, everything had to end at least for now. He kept his hand around Axel's wrist and gently shut his eyes. As he said before: he was afraid.

* * *

**Author's note: Thank you for reading this far ppl:D Well, I'll just say I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter very much. :D Also, I hope you are all enjoying this story so far and that I haven't added too much angsting or yaoi loving...meep. O...O ehehe, well, chapter X is expected to be posted soon! Again, thank you!**

**_kokoro77_**


	10. Chapter X :2 star warning:

_Chap X _

_Does the truth hurt as much as it's said to? Is lying the best to do instead? Either way, pain is the destination. Sometimes it is a question of if the heart can withstand the words of truth and lies. Without a heart, these would, as assumed, take no effect what so ever to the body and mind. Or, do they? If the truth can affect someone, then it must be possible for it to affect a no one that acts and thinks like someone. _

It was dark by the time Roxas' small void had fallen. Earlier, he had thought of his own room as a safe getaway but his thoughts of Axel twisted his mind completely. Due to the darkness, he didn't know where he had brought his injured companion and only hoped they were safe for the moment. Why did the darkness have to hold so many secrets within its body? Why couldn't there be even the slightest bit of light for him to see through those secrets and move freely in the shadows? He prayed for the darkness to leave...he prayed for it to allow him to view his mentor below him...he prayed for it to not take Axel away from him.

After feeling around the surface of what felt like a hard metal, Roxas' finger tips finally brushed against a body and he gasped, inching closer with anxiousness.

"Axel?" He whispered softly, carefully wrapping a single hand around what felt like Axel's hand.

When there was no response, he grew desperate. Nearly loosing himself to his mind, Roxas shot forward and lay helplessly across Axel's un-moving body. "What did he do to you? What did he...?" He paused and thought hard. He could feel him breathing from underneath his stomach and he gave a relieved gasp.

"Come on...you're ok! Come on..." he continued to persuade the teen to awaken, gently nudging his shoulder, hoping the movement would bring him to consciousness. His eyes were steadily growing comfortable with the darkness and he was beginning to catch the slightest details of Axel's profile. It wasn't until he was able to see a dark crimson approaching him did he back away at the unknown figure.

"W-what?" Hesitantly, he reached forward and slid one finger through the thick red puddle. It felt warm...had he seen this substance once before? "B-Blood?" He whispered and instantly wiped the blood off on the ground. Nervously, he turned toward where he thought Axel had been and shuddered at the thought of the blood escaping from his body. But, that didn't seem correct. Nobodies had no hearts and therefore, could have to blood flowing through their veins...that was, unless they were able to obtain a heart in some way. He blinked and pondered the thought. Axel...had a heart? But by the time he looked up again, the eerie sight of crimson had disappeared. So bizarre...

"Roxas."

Roxas' eyes widened and as quick as the snap of one's fingers he was beside Axel again, already asking frantically if he was ok. "Axel! You're ok! Are you ok? What happened? What did that guy do to you? Oh, man, are you...?"

He paused after he heard the soft sound of clothing shift before him and his body froze, not sure of what he was happening.

"Roxas...you're..."

"Yeah? I'm what? What!" He demanded reaching forward until his hands stopped against Axel's chest in the darkness. "You're...what are you sitting up for? You're hurt, aren't you?"

He was relieved to hear Axel's same laugh but only this time it sounded as if it was nearly killing him to do so. "It's just a little injury. After all," he drew in a pained, sharp breath and stared again, "we don't shed blood. That's not how we Nobodies die."

"Who...was that guy?" Roxas asked. "That guy that brought you to me..."

Axel rubbed the back of his head and crossed his legs while he tried to hide the extreme pain in his chest. "A member of the Organization...Mar," he cringed and it took him a bit longer to repeat himself, "Marluxia..."

"He wanted to see Xemnas."

"I know..."

"You do?"

"'Course I do. That's why I left you. Xemnas must have heard from someone that Marluxia was plotting against him and gave me the job to eliminate him."

Roxas raised an eyebrow and crossed his own legs, caught in the conversation. "But, why? Why would Marluxia want to do that?"

Axel scoffed. "He was fixated on overthrowing Organization XIII and wanted to claim it as his own. The member that arrived before you, Larxene, she partnered up with him and they both started creating plans to destroy Xemnas."

"So, what happened to Larxene?"

"She was destroyed."

"By you?" Roxas asked, surprised.

"No. By a boy in a place called Castle Oblivion. She attempted to battle against him but he was too much for her. In the end, she left Marluxia to go about killing Xemnas on his own."

"So you battled Marluxia..." Roxas began slowly, worried about what he was about to hear.

Axel nodded and lowered his head. "Marluxia and I started battle after I told him that he was betraying the Order. After that, well, he ultimately got pissed. Probably 'cause I knew about it. So, we went off battling head-to-head until I was caught off guard."

"You? Caught off guard? That's a first..." Roxas joked to which Axel punched weakly at him.

"The thing was, Xemnas had planned for us to battle from the start...he knew that Marluxia would beat me down..."

"W-What?" Roxas gaped up at him, his eyes beaming.

"Marluxia told me that Xemnas wanted for him to knock me out so he could test your strength. Apparently, Xemnas thought that if you saw me hurt, you would be more than willing to fight Marluxia. He used you as an experiment for the Order..."

"Excuse me?" Roxas fumed.

"That's what Xemnas does...he uses all of us. He wasn't sure of your power so he thought that if you wanted to do nothing but protect, those weapons you wielded before would show up. When they would, Xemnas said he was going to study yours and Marluxia fight."

"I hate him...I hate everyone in this Organization..." Roxas muttered, staring at the dark ground with hatred flashing in his sapphire pupils.

"Oh...ouch," Axel stated, staring down at the blonde who suddenly shot up to face him.

"I didn't mean you! I was just exaggerating was all..." Embarrassed, Roxas lowered his head until he was simply staring forward, away from Axel's face.

"Uhm...Roxas?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

"I...would you...uh..." Axel stumbled over his words and rubbed his arm absently.

"What?"

"I just...had a thought...would you...aw, man."

"You're doing it again..." Roxas implied, slapping Axel upside the head with his hand.

"Hey! Alright, fine! I was just going to ask if you would let me..." He stopped himself and shook his head vigorously. "Ugh, why does it have to be so dark in here?"

"I don't know where we are really..."

There was a silent pause until Roxas heard Axel snap his fingers. The second he had, the room suddenly illuminated, revealing to his eyes the area he had transported them to. No, it wasn't his room nor was it the streets or Axel's room. In fact, he didn't know of this place...

All around him were transparent floating symbols that were identical to the grey symbol painted at the bottom of the gathering room. The floor and walls appeared as if they were non-existent, ominously carrying shades of light blue and purple in its watery-like surface. There were neither signs of an exit nor a sign of an entrance for that matter. He feared he had brought them into some sort of prison.

"Betwixt and Between..." Axel said calmly, attempting to stand by himself though he was clearly failing.

"H-Hey!" Roxas quickly got to his feet and grabbed Axel's arm before he could fall. He seemed fine despite what he expected to see from his battle with Marluxia. He expected cuts, tears, bruises. But no. To his relief, he appeared un-harmed. Still, something was attacking him from inside his body. "Don't be stupid."

"I'm not stupid, Roxas. Just stubborn..." Axel replied and finally stood, taking hold of Roxas' shoulder when he nearly lost balance.

"You said this place was...?"

"Betwixt and Between. It's like a portal that enables Nobodies to travel from one world to another if they refuse transporting. You can always open it up yourself once you obtain the right power to do it."

"But, why'd we end up here? I was thinking about my room to escape to; not a place I haven't even heard about."

Axel stared at the ceiling then back to Roxas, his eyes softening again. "A place to escape to...a place of temporary solitude...those mixed thoughts you had about where to go and of me brought us here."

"Roxas kept silent while staring back at him. No exit, no entrance...no one but them...alone. He was sure no one would come here...

"It only happens a few times. If you're thoughts a obscured while transporting, sometimes you tend to end up somewhere even better than where you wanted to be. It's kinda...weird."

"Yeah..." Roxas shifted uneasily when he noticed Axel had turned to face him. Now he was recalling the time when he had forced him against a wall for the first time. His neck tingled and that scene quickly flashed by his mind. He kept still and hoped he hadn't been beside a wall. He didn't want to have to suffer the sharp pain at the back of his head again. "Just us...maybe we should..."

"Roxas," Axel interrupted, "I was going to ask...if you'd let me..._kiss you_." He barely whispered the last bit of his sentence.

"Why are you asking?" Roxas asked a bit nervously.

"I...I don't know. It's just that, you've been through a lot today and I didn't think that..."

"O-Ok."

Axel froze and stared at Roxas blankly. "Huh?"

"Ok. I...I said O-K. But just once...we really shouldn't be here..." Roxas replied quietly.

"Just once...ok. Ah, hell..." Axel felt himself hesitating. He hated it when he fought with himself because most of the time, his body ended up winning. But Roxas was just...there. He was O-K with it. Roxas wasn't like the others...he wasn't even like a Nobody, really. It was only when he acted depressed did he truly pose as a heartless being. He was so vulnerable for anything. He was the youngest in the Order yet his attitude and mind seemed driven to act as mature as possible. No one kept him so interested...so obsessed...so...trapped.

He stared down at Roxas' blank face, not even remembering walking toward him at all. There. His body had won again. "Feels sort of strange...doesn't it?" He asked suddenly.

Roxas narrowed his eyes and eyed him questionably. "Huh?"

"That I force you to do these kinds of things..."

Roxas smiled lightly and shook his head. "No."

Without anything else left to say, all there was to do was, well, go for it. Just once...he had to remember that. Just one little kiss and they'd be off. So why was it that Axel was taking it further?

Roxas shut his eyes completely and slipped his tongue slowly into Axel's mouth, allowing each other to tie together. He drew back and stared up at him, slightly feeling disappointed. Just one...that was it. But by that time, both had forgotten in that one small minute of a kiss. Roxas moved back and kept his eyes shut again. They were going steadily but that only increased Roxas' desire to create that fiery atmosphere again. Two, three, four, a fifth time...just once wasn't enough. Roxas' lips trailed over to Axel's jaw where he began dragging his tongue across his soft skin. Axel literally felt his pain leave him and he would have to make best of the time it no longer resided in his body.

"Gosh, Roxas..." He hissed into the younger teen's ear almost uncontrollably, tilting his head to allow Roxas more room to move.

Roxas pulled away and the second he did, Axel forced himself on him, with his lips already laying painfully pleasurable kisses along Roxas' neck. Roxas felt Axel's hand at his back when his body was being pushed backward. He gave in cooperatively and lay lazily on the water-like floor with Axel sprawled atop him. Again he could feel each other's bodies heat up from being like this. He let a shuddered breath escape his parted lips and slowly after, he was silenced by another moment they were locked together. His world turned, his mind blurred...everything was fading away...

"This time...we'll do it..." Axel whispered seductively, lowering Roxas' cloak zipper just a bit.

"I...nnh..." Before he could reply, Axel's hands were already touching around his concealed stomach and he could barely even speak. "I...we...ah!" He gasped when he felt Axel's hand slip under his black undershirt and beginning touching his hot skin.

"It's now or never, Roxas..."

Roxas struggled to keep quiet and simply allowed Axel to touch him in ways he loved so much. In places he loved to be touched. He was amazing...he lay there now, his cloak stripped away from him while his black shirt was already halfway pulled off. He felt Axel's tongue meet on his stomach as his t-shirt was slowly being lifted to allow Axel more room. Killing him slowly...

Roxas shot for Axel's waist where his zipper dangled and weakly attempted to pull it down while his pleasure raised. When his teacher pulled away, Axel sat up for a moment to throw this cloak to the side before resuming. The blonde slipped his hand up the back of Axel's shirt and he began to touch him

"Ah, damn..." Axel pulled away from Roxas' stomach and his mind went crazy as Roxas sat up with him and began touching his chest, licking his neck, stroking his hair. He mimicked him and ran his fingers through Roxas' feathery hair. He had grown a fetish with Roxas' hair. He always wanted to feel it touch his body...he always wanted _Roxas_. Roxas sent his head backward and rolled his eyes. Axel's hands were already stripping him of his pants while at the same time he whispered nonsense to him.

_"We'll finally be connected, Roxas..." _

He groaned at the sound of his sinful voice controlling his mentality.

_"It'll be amazing...you'll see...we'll be part of each other I can't help myself, Roxas...Rrrroxasss..."_

Roxas stared down as Axel parted his legs one he had rid of his pants. In nothing but his boxers, Roxas kept his legs apart as Axel moved toward him. They were so close...closer...closer...he forced his lips against his best friend's and licked his lower lip. Axel's hands gently caressed the inside of Roxas' separated legs and they both fell again, Roxas below, Axel on top with both hands at each side of Roxas' head.

"It's so..."

"Amazing...I know." Axel interrupted, panting heavily over Roxas' limp body. They turned, they twisted, over and over Roxas touched him, Axel touched him. What started out as a kiss transformed into something so animal-like.

_"You were always mine from the start..."_ Axel shot forward, hearing Roxas scream his name from below him as he came again.

"AH!" Roxas winced and clawed at the floor, his entire body screaming for more. He was losing himself, they both were losing each other. Indescribable sensations flowed through the two, wrapping them within a single moment where they were transported to an alternate reality. Was this even reality?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You really scared me back there..." Roxas said serenely, laying his head comfortably on Axel's chest.

"We were both scared, I guess," The red head replied, protectively wrapping an arm around Roxas' naked self.

"I guess..." Roxas' voice trailed off and he stared off, thinking to himself. That's right, he was scared and confused. Ever since he became part of the Organization, these two emotions were slowly clawing at him from the inside. He wished those feelings of laughing and hugging and kissing would always remain with him. He adored the feeling of warmth against his skin and the feeling of warmth inside his body. But did he always have to turn to Axel to feel it? His eyes lowered and as he pondered the thought. Sora probably could feel it all the time...why couldn't he?

"What's on your mind?" Axel asked, pulling both his and Roxas' black cloaks over both of their bodies.

Roxas hesitated to say anything and remained still. Axel's body sounded so empty while he had his ear pressed against his chest. Something was missing from him...from all Nobodies. They were supposedly a brotherhood of some sort and claimed that they would obtain hearts together. But, judging by the betrayal of Marluxia, the fights and wounds from Saix, Xemnas, and Xigbar, things didn't feel like a brotherhood at all. Roxas was confused. He had told himself that this was where he belonged...but, was he only lying?

"A-Axel?" He managed to say weakly.

"Hmm?"

"I...I want to...I have to tell you something..."

"What?" He asked, holding Roxas closer to him.

"I...don't think this is where I really belong..."

"What?" Axel said in slight shock. "What're you talking about?"

"I've been feeling so lost ever since I came here...so, maybe this place isn't where I should be."

"So, you're just thinking out loud, right?" Axel asked confidently. But when Roxas shook his head gloomily, his eyes lowered and he felt his pain returning again.

"Xemnas told me about a guy named Sora...he's my other half."

"Why would Xemnas tell you?"

"I don't really know. But, I've been thinking that this isn't what I want to feel. If I want to feel a heart, my only resort is to go to you..."

"Is that I bad thing?" Axel asked, sounding so hurt.

"Well...no. But, there has to be another way...I want to find out how. This Organization...these members...it doesn't make any sense."

"What're you saying?"

Roxas hesitated and shifted under their covering. His whole body tingled while he searched for something to say without hurting Axel. He already knew Axel was hurting from the damage taken from Marluxia. It didn't make sense to take that pain further...but it didn't make sense to keep his thoughts bottled inside.

"I'm thinking...I'm thinking of leaving the Organization..."


	11. Chapter XI

_Chap XI_

_This is the moment of our goodbye  
__Our distance...our separation...  
__What caused this to happen?  
__To us? To our hearts?  
__My heart screams for you...  
__My mind tells me to let you go.  
__You: left in darkness  
__I: walk toward the light  
__All these thoughts never seem to rest  
__I wonder, what do you think now as we turn away?  
__I felt nothing but you  
__I dreamt of nothing but you  
__My heart screams for you...  
__My mind tells me to let you go  
__My lies...my words...you  
__All reside in my memories  
__I know you will be safe in the darkness...  
__Shaded away from those who might bring you harm  
__Will you forget?  
__Will you feel nothing but me?  
__Will you dream of nothing but me?  
__At this moment I fall...  
__At this moment, I must let you go..._

This time, it was his time to fall. It was his turn to watch all the pieces fall apart. His passion, his strength...he wished more than ever that they hadn't left him. Now, he was nothing. A simple Nobody...a meaningless shell of something that used to be. Those words...were they true? He felt like he could die. Fade away into everlasting darkness. Nobodies couldn't die from blood...this: this was how they departed life.

Roxas' eyes narrowed when he felt Axel's breathing nearly stop. He could feel his own body feel so lost. He would regret this for his life...

"W-what?" Axel asked in disbelief.

Roxas said nothing and slowly sat upright underneath their clothes. He averted his eyes from his companion and pretended to take interest in the floating symbols to the wall beside him.

"But...that's..."

"Betrayal...I know," the blonde intervened in a slightly pained voice.

"I'm not hearing you right, am I?" Axel abruptly sat himself beside Roxas, supporting his body upright with his arms. He stared at the back of Roxas' head as he nervously awaited his answer.

"Should I repeat myself?"

"I..."

"Should I!" Roxas' whole body shook vigorously. His anger was flaring again from within his empty chest. "I'm leaving the Organization, Axel. I'm...leaving."

What was this feeling overpowering Axel's body? He never felt anything like it before. Maybe he had...in a past life. His mind was cluttered with thoughts while his voice fell mute. He wanted to deny what Roxas' was telling him. He wanted to laugh now and call him crazy. Why couldn't he then? Why was it all he could do was stare?

"W-when?" He simply asked, lowering his head as he caught his voice beginning to shake.

"I...I really...I don't really know when. But, whenever my heart tells me to do so, I'll...go..."

"It's telling you to stay!" Axel blurted to Roxas' back.

Roxas slowly looked up, his eyes feeling heavy, and pieced together was Axel had said to him in a way he could understand. That's right...Axel was his so called 'heart'. But he couldn't listen to it now...no matter how much he might have wanted to, he had to escape from his heart...his prison cell.

"Where are you supposed to go?"

Roxas shook his head. "Anywhere but here." He had constantly told himself those words before. Each time he had, he always told himself he wanted to be in a place with Axel. But not this time...

"Who knows where you'll end up? You could...no!" In one swift movement, Axel darted forward to his unsuspecting friend. Desperately, he wrapped one arm around the blonde's neck while he allowed the other to hold Roxas' head close to his own. His face remained fixed to the floor, bright aquamarine eyes blazing with doubt and pain.

"You...want to stop me?" Roxas kept still in Axel's tight squeeze, refusing to embrace him back.

"You don't know this Organization, Roxas. They'll..."

"They'll bring me down."

"What?"

"Don't you get it? This whole time you've been here, are you completely oblivious to the fact that no one is willing to sacrifice themselves for you? When are you gonna figure out that they'll never treat you like one of them?"

"Roxas..."

"I've already found that out," Roxas broke away from Axel's hold and grabbed his clothes that once covered his body. "I've already figured that I deserve better than this..."

Axel remained silent on the floor as he watched Roxas begin to clothe himself back into the Organization uniform. Each time he opened his mouth to speak, he drew them back in, fearing that his tone of voice would give away his current emotions. What was he supposed to say? That he didn't want Roxas to leave because he loved him? What would he do then? As if something like that would stop him. Roxas was too determined. Not like he would be able to gather up enough strength to tell him what was on his mind.

As Roxas zipped up his cloak, he thought of nothing but regret for being this way to Axel. He didn't dare look over his shoulder at the shattered expression staring back at him. He stood still and finally broke the silence. "I'm still not sure about when..."

Axel shot his eyes up, a small bit of confidence sparking in his head. "So...it could be...whenever, right?"

Roxas nodded and stared unblinking at the wall before him. He thought of his dreams with that strange voice. _"Best friends shouldn't forget about each other despite their differences and distance,"_ he whispered to which Axel replied, "Best friends?"

"We're...best friends, right?" Roxas asked over his shoulder as Axel began to change back into his outfit.

"I just don't want you getting hurt or anything."

"Then, you'll let me go?"

Axel paused as he started zipping his pants up. "Let you go?" He repeated slowly. "You mean, let you leave the Organization?"

"Well...that and let me go from you?"

The red head let out a forced laugh and quickly dabbed the corner of his eye. "I-I didn't say that, you know. Don't go getting ideas."

"Regardless...I still want to escape from here."

"R-right...I-I know." Axel, still without a shirt, nervously shot his head down and shut his eyes tightly. He continued to wipe away what ever was escaping from his eyes. No matter how hard he tried, they continued to flow. No matter how hard he tried, his voice remained shattered. "That's your...that's your decision, right?" He added in an attempted steady voice though he clearly failed.

Roxas blinked at the sound of his voice and he questionably began to turn to face him. He wanted to run away the moment he saw Axel resisting to cry. He wanted to punish himself for what he was doing. Did wanting to leave seem selfish or did it just not make any sense?

"A-Axel..." He whispered, raising his hand slowly toward the frustrated teen.

"Oh, you're...you're still here? You could have left you know..." Catching sight of Roxas' hand, Axel quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and turned away to continue clothing himself.

"What about you?"

"What're you worrying about me for? You're just...just confusing yourself, Roxas!" Axel laughed again and hastily began to zip his cloak up.

"Oh...I...guess so.," Roxas muttered, staring absently at the aqua floor.

"There? See? You should just..." He paused to wipe his eye again, "You should just..."

"Go?" Roxas implied.

"...y-yeah." Axel lowered his hand and gazed up at Roxas when he lowered his head halfway. Even to his moment Roxas amazed him beyond explanation. He wanted to know more about him...they both wanted to know everything about each other. Now, he felt those goals were meaningless. He knew a Nobody was never supposed to feel or think like this.

Without saying anything more, Roxas' mind filled with thoughts of the darkness he had seen in the world of the Nobodies. He pictured those neon signs that had laughed at him, those amber eyed shadows that had chased him, and those high building walls that appeared to trap him in endless twists and turns. Beyond his darkening flames, sapphire fell upon teal once more where they remained until he could see no more of that precious color.

With a faint smile drawn upon his face, Axel, unable to do a thing, followed the movement of the darkness as it swallowed his lover into the ground and out of sight...away from him. By now, he had given up on trying to stop his eyes from watering. Still, he smiled while the sadness flowed down his face. So this was what it was like...to cry. Whether he liked it or not he did not know. He shut his eyes and pictured Roxas' beaming face in his mind.

"Let you go from me...? That's suicide."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was now or never. Roxas repeated Axel's seducing words in his head as he strolled down the street of darkness. He figured that leaving now was better than suffering through anymore the Organization had to offer. Yes; now. His eyes had now grown attached to the darkness to his surprise. Before, he had been blinded by it completely. Now, the brightness of the neon lights seemed so much clearer. The distinctive features in the building walls struck his eyes. But, just beyond those lights and buildings: a familiar face...a familiar body.

"_Axel?"_ He questioned himself but he continued to walk. He kept his eyes forward to the corner he wanted to turn at the end of the road. Still, his eyes often wandered to Axel as he leaned casually against a building to his right with arms crossed. He was staring seemingly uncaring at the ground with his face quite straight.

As he passed the quiet teen, Roxas' mind fluttered. He revisited those words they had shared, those moments they had experienced, and those ways of showing emotion to each other. Only seconds to his turn around the corner, he was stopped in his tracks.

"Your mind's made up?" He heard from behind him.

Roxas paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Why did those two blades choose me? I have to know..."

Axel knew Roxas better. He knew Roxas indeed was interested in his unknown power but there had to be another reason. Roxas couldn't have been bothered by the Organization. He was spending most of his time away from them anyway. All he had to do was ignore them and remain by his side...he didn't understand it and his anger suddenly exploded. Swiftly, he pushed off of the wall and faced Roxas' back.

"You can't turn against the Organization!"

Roxas knew this was the Axel he had wanted to see for the longest time. This was what Axel was feeling, what he was keeping inside. Now, he was hearing it all. With his head turned away from him, he kept silent.

"You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" He yelled helplessly at Roxas' back.

He wanted to break in a run at this point. Either that, or somehow wake from this dream to find himself beside Axel again. But he had to keep moving. He had to remain on course to where _he_ wanted to be. He couldn't be afraid anymore. He couldn't be lost in an embrace or a kiss anymore. He couldn't be trapped in fire any longer. This was now...the past was over. If he wanted to find where he truly belonged, he had to sacrifice nearly destroying his treasured heart and _let it go_.

"No one would miss me," he responded monotonously and strode off, finally meeting the corner and turning behind it.

"That's not true! I would..." Axel slumped forward where he stood and nearly fell to the ground. He felt so incomplete now. What was his life now? What was his goal now? Would he just have to move on as he had before Roxas ever crossed his path? That Nobody...that attractive Nobody was all that could make him feel like somebody. Staring back toward the corner where Roxas had gone, he slowly clenched his hand into a fist.

He did have a goal...to bring Roxas back.

'_I dream ahead to what I hope for  
__And I turn my back on loving you  
__How can this love be a good thing?  
__And I know what I going through  
__  
In my head there's only you now  
__And this world falls on me  
__In this world there's real and make believe  
__And this seemed real to me  
__You love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
__**Let me go...**'_

* * *

**I love that song. :) Well, sorry for the wait on this chapter! I've been having sleepiness lately for staying to literally 3 in the morning to get chapters done! I'm just very persistent... :D As to when this story will end, I have no earthly idea! O.O -runs off laughing maniacally-**

**_kokoro77_**


	12. Chapter XII :end Part I:

_Chap XII _

_They say there are many worlds out there. Mentioned before, there are several people in the universe that care only for the worlds they were born in. Yet, amongst those people lies those with curious minds and curious hearts. What lies beyond the border of their worlds and the next? It is impossible to subdue a heart that is so persistent. Once their hearts and minds become set on a path, no one can expect them to return. _

Roxas' whole body felt empty while his mind was overflowing with emotions and thoughts. Combine the two and he felt pure confusion. How he hated himself for ever turning that corner. Not even the darkness was able to wrap around his train of thoughts. All he thought of now, was seeking light. It was strange, walking under this cold shower alone; feeling the rhythm of the droplets against his outfit. This was probably the first time he had pulled his hood over his face...already he hated it. It symbolized the Organization, the very Organization he yearned to forget. With each step taken, he abandoned what he once knew of his so called 'past'. No matter how much his body shook in a need to turn back, his legs moved on and his heart kept him ahead.

_"You've heard of the Heartless?" _

He stared up from the ground at the voice, turning every which way for the owner. It sounded so familiar...yet he couldn't paint a face. Above him, rain was beginning to obscure the neon signs from his hidden eyes. He had never been to this place before. He felt trapped within what appeared to be a city square. Standing tall and erect several feet ahead was a tower. No stairs led to the doorway and no window lined the outer walls. What caught his attention the most were the large screens directly on top of the tower's roof, flashing images that were too blurred to make out.

"The...Heartless?" He whispered, only hoping someone wouldn't reply.

_"You know...**them**." _

At the very mentioning of them, Roxas recalled to memory the moment he had first appeared on this world. As he stood stone still, his body was soon surrounded by emotionless amber eyes. Following the eyes were the bodies of the creatures, black and jagged, that emerged from the ground as if they were created from the puddles of rain.

This time, he wasn't afraid. "Of course I know them...but what would they want with a Heartless being like me?"

_"They respond to what I tell them. It isn't the Heartless that are interested in you..." _

As the last of the Heartless creatures formed from the asphalt, Roxas' hands curled into fists and he barely even took interest in the flaming shape that was taking form around his body. At the sight of the smoky, thin drawing, the Heartless moved back as the light hit their bodies which were pure darkness.

"It's you...!" From behind the thin blonde hair that covered his eyes, Roxas could barely catch sight of a body atop the unknown tower. He squinted and saw the man's face. His wet, silver locks flowed with the movement of the wind as did the black blindfold that shielded away his eyes. And, although he was dressed in the official outfit for Organization XIII, Roxas had failed to identify the man as someone he knew.

_"Give in to the darkness, Roxas."_ The man silenced himself again and stared up at the night sky, directly upward at the pouring rain.

Roxas could feel a cold metal in both hands again and he knew what was about to come. He was thinking again of the longing to protect...but he wasn't sure exactly what. Something was constantly burning in his body that was telling him to fight. Sure enough, he had in possession the blades he had longed to wield a time ago. Then, in one swift move, he broke into a run for the tower, slashing at the Heartless, their dark bodies separating and falling to the ground as if they were blood. Destroy the darkness...protect heart...run into light.

After every swipe of the blades and after every Heartless slain, they only seemed to multiply from the defeated bodies and continued to swarm together after Roxas. At the moment he reached tower, he clutched both blades tightly in his hands and shot upward, defying gravity and ran against the slippery edge of the wall. Directly behind him, the Heartless remained persistent as they clawed their way up the tower.

Roxas didn't know what he was doing at this moment. The man atop this tower had absolutely no relationship with him nor did he interest him in any way. At random, he released the black blade he had been holding in his left hand and tossed it over his head. His eyes fell upon the man as he seemed to be falling directly toward him at high speed. The man instantly snatched the blade into his possession and continued to free fall. It wasn't until they both met halfway did time appear to halt.

_"Well, isn't this a surprise?" _

"Are you willing to fight the Heartless?"

_"Perhaps. After all, being the true Keyblade master, I have the right to take them." _

"Keyblade?"

_"Why do you have them? You're nothing but a Nobody..." _

"I may be...but the desire to protect has apparently given me that ability."

_"Let's put it to the test..."_

Blades were swung and dark, blood-like bodies fell. Back on solid ground, both fought against the darkness. Heartless came, Heartless disappeared. As quickly as they arrived, they were soon depleted with the last swing of a Keyblade.

_"Now, tell me!"_

Roxas swiftly turned to the sudden voice coming closer to him and he swung his silver Keyblade upward to block the downward attack.

_"You don't deserve to wield a Keyblade!"_

"What are you talking about?" He yelled, pushing the man off of him before attempting to strike him down. He was blocked by the dark blade and he jumped back, almost not wanting to fight.

_"Give it up!" _

"Dammit!" He cursed and shot forward, their two Keyblades striking against each other in a noise the split through the rain. "How about _you_ give it up!"

The man simply ignored Roxas and continued to keep his feet planted into the ground.

"I don't have time for you!" And, with a forceful swing, Roxas sent the man backward onto the soaked pavement. He paused, watching the man pant heavily while still holding a firm grip on the black Keyblade, then stepped toward him.

_"Why! Why do you have the Keyblade!"_ The man blurted to him, staring at Roxas from behind the darkness of his blindfold.

The blonde raised his weapon, his body tingling with a mix of emotions. "Shut up!" He retorted and brought the Keyblade down in a flash of silver. But, when black sparks flew with silver, his mind suddenly fell blank and his body began to sting. The coolness of the rain from underneath his body startled him. He felt anxious now, staring up at the silver strands of water falling on him.

_"I see...this is why..."_

He longed to be held close now. He wanted to call out for his heart and escape the cold by running to, where else, fire. Enough with the confusion...he had to...he had to...but by then, his eyes fell blank and his memories seemed to be stolen right from his head.

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Axel hated the rain. He couldn't think of anything else that he wished never existed. It always brought him to a feeling of defeat and depression...except for that one time...that one time Roxas joined him in the downpour. Bringing his legs closer to his chest, he sighed and waited for the rain to leave him. He didn't want to forget Roxas...he didn't want to forget their relationship...but, he was gone now. He wasn't even sure if they would cross paths again.

Where was he now...?

"Axel? Axel, is that you?"

Stunned, he nearly gasped toward the high pitched voice and turned his head to where a hooded figure was standing under the light of a street sign. He shook his head and turned away, resting his chin on his knees.

"I hate the rain..." He grumbled.

"Really? I love it!" They replied, walking toward him under the shelter of a protruding cement banister above.

Axel scoffed when they sat next to him, copying the position he was sitting in. "'Course you do."

"Aw, come on. Don't be mad..." Carefully, they reached back and pulled the hood away to reveal their face to him. Demyx's bright, blue eyes stared at Axel's turned face and he blinked. "Something on your mind?" He asked softly.

"Its...it's nothing really..."

"Sure doesn't look like nothing..." Demyx ran a gloved hand through his slightly spiked, dirty blonde hair and leaned back into the wall, his eyes still fixed on the red head.

"It's nothing," Axel repeated slowly.

Demyx sighed and roughly pushed the back of Axel's head. "What ever you say...you know," He paused and began twiddling around his fingers before finishing, "you used to tell me everything."

"Huh?" Axel asked. "I never did anything like that."

"Oh, sure. Probably ;cause of...uhm..." Demyx's eyes suddenly widened while he began searching around Axel's body and around the deserted street. When he came up empty, he replied, "Where exactly _is_ Roxas?"

He wished, more than ever, that Demyx hadn't spoken that name. Now with the rain _and_ his lover in mind, his depression increased. Axel lowered his eyes and let out half a sigh. "He's..he left."

"WHAT!" Immediately, Demyx went into panic and he leaned closer to Axel with an idiotic expression on his face. "He really...?"

Though he hated to admit it, Axel nodded once and shoved Demyx further away from him by nudging him with his shoulder.

"Just like that?"

"Just...like that."

"Wow," Demyx said in awe. "He...he's in for huge maximum punishment for that."

"Yeah? You don't think I know! Just...get out of here, Demyx!" He turned his head away and tightly shut his eyes to avoid showing any sign of crying. He wasn't exactly comfortable with crying. It just made him feel weak and he knew that if others saw it, they would label him as so. He thought of how that would ruin his reputation as bad boy in the Organization. "You're _still_ here?" He asked impatiently after hearing a random tapping beside him.

"Yes..." Demyx confessed, lowering his head after he had stopped tapping the ground in a beat he made up on the spot. "I just, well, I don't think you should be alone, is all."

"Thanks for offering, but, I'm not in the mood to talk..."

"Oh? That's _gotta_ be a first! _You_? Not wanting to _talk_?"

"Demyx, I'm serious!" He snapped, turning his body halfway to face the nearly shocked teen beside him. Helplessly, he heaved a sigh and shook his head before slumping back. "Fine. But you'll probably get bored hanging around me."

Demyx shrugged and, to Axel's surprise, rested his head atop his shoulder. Demyx shifted and nudged Axel's arm as if he was a pillow.

"What...are...you...doing?" Axel asked, his voice rising with each word.

"Just making myself comfy. You know, all you need is someone at your side."

"Yeah, but not like this!" Hastily, Axel shrugged the musician off which caused Demyx to fall onto the ground instead.

"Ow! Why so shovie?"

"Look, Demyx, you're water, I'm fire. We're not supposed to cross paths, ok?"

"Oh, _hot head_..." Demyx mumbled and sat up again while rubbing the back of his head. After a moment of nothing but the sound of the rain, Demyx spoke up again, this time, his voice calmer. "I wonder where Roxas is now."

"You do?" Axel asked slowly, turning his head back to Demyx as he watched the rain fall at a steadier pace now.

He nodded and twiddled his fingers around again. "Think he'll like where ever he's going?"

"Dunno," Axel replied, "Maybe."

"Did you want to go with him?"

Axel paused and stared at Demyx for a moment. "No..."

"If I were you, I would have. You guys seemed to have a pretty close bond; like brother's almost."

"Really?" Axel inquired, leaning closer to Demyx while he found himself interested in the conversation.

He nodded again. "'Course. Strange...for being a Nobody, that's a pretty amazing thing."

"I thought so..." Axel's voice lowered and was now a bit clearer to hear once the rain began to subside. Still, his sadness flowed through his body, giving him that 'Nobody' feeling he used to feel before Roxas and him met. Now, he _really_ wished he would obtain a heart quicker. Lazily, he rested his cheek atop his knees and kept his head turned from Demyx to avoid suspicion.

"Still, I can't believe he'd leave us..." Demyx's voice trailed off when he turned to see Axel had fallen silent with his head turned in a separate direction. Feeling responsible, he gently rested a hand atop Axel's shoulder and his eyes softened. "Sorry."

_Sorry_...with a light groan, Axel buried his face in his knees. It seemed like everything was reminding him of Roxas. He knew he wouldn't soon forget...he hoped Roxas wouldn't as well. He felt another nudge at his shoulder and, after looking up, saw that Demyx had laid his head on him again, this time with his eyes shut. He was about to push him off again before he decided not to. In a way, Demyx looked almost like Roxas. His hair was blonde; his eyes were bright blue and were filled with innocence.

Where was he now...?

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_"Now arriving in Station Heights: Gate number: three. All passengers must depart when doors open. Again, arriving in Station Heights: Gate number three." _

_A young boy, possibly in his teens at the time..._

A young boy, possibly in his teens at the time, awoke to the warm caress of the sun against his face. He wasn't aware of how long he had been asleep nor was he aware that he had gone to sleep at all. Carefully, his eyes fluttered open and he yawned as he sat himself up. Tiredly, he rubbed the back of his head, ruffling up his spiky blonde hair. All was quiet except for the muffled sound of train tracks outside.

"I was...asleep?" He questioned himself, staring around at the small, empty train. No one was there...just him. He was...alone? When the sudden sight of darkness blinded him, he released a frightened gasp and searched frantically in the shadows. He was relaxed by the sight of light again as he felt the train slow from beneath him.

_"Please remain seated until train comes to complete stop. Welcome to Station Heights: Gate number three. Please depart when doors open and make way for boarding passengers. Again, this is Station Heights: Gate number three."_

" Station Heights?" He whispered as the doors to his left suddenly unlocked and swung open. How did he end up here?

A bit shaken, the teen stood and exited the train into the world he was so unaware of. The weather was comfortably warm and the sound of distant tower bells echoed in his head. He nearly jumped when he turned to face the train he had departed, seeing that it had vanished.

"Where...?"

_"You're not from around here, are you?"_

Quickly, his eyes shot forward to face a teen that appeared to be around his age. He was blonde, like him, and wore a short, grey jacket with a black shirt underneath. To complete his fatigued style, he wore a pair of camouflage pants.

"Uhm...I..."

"You're probably the new student, right?" The boy asked flatly.

"Student?"

"Right. Guess you are. Name's Hayner," He said, keeping his distance with his arms crossed. "You've got a name, right?"

"I do...I'm..."

_"Roxas." _

"Roxas!" The blonde replied in sudden shock that he was able to speak his name. Roxas...right. That was his name.

_His memories...his very being...this is merely the beginning..._

* * *

**Well, thus begins the Part II to this story! Yes, I have decided that this will continue. :) I actually enjoyed typing up this chapter! Whee! -dances in circles- Hmm...let's see, it's 2 o' clock in the morning...a new record! YAY! -throws confetti-**

**Axel: -glares-  
Me: -throws confetti on him- You know you love me!  
Axel: How can I love you if you just took Roxas away from me!  
Me: Aww...I'm sorry! -hugs him-  
Axel: x.x ROXAS! COME BACK!**

**That's for me to know and for you to find out. ;D**

**Axel: Nooo! -sobs-  
Me: -gives him a Roxas stuffie-  
Axel: Yay! -falls asleep on the floor-  
Me: Aww...isn't he cute? Goodnight Axie Waxie!**

**_much love,  
kokoro77_**


	13. Chapter XIII :start Part II:

**-appears from under a rug- h-hi? wow, i've been gone for a long time...-sob- i already said this in my last update for my other story but i'll say it again:  
i-am-sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-sorry...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one one one!!! (that's really overused...oh well!)  
it's just that with high school and holiday shopping and homework, i haven't gotten enough time to write. only on the weekends are when i really can pull out Axie Waxie (laptop's name X3) and spend hours writing! even on some of those days i have writer's block! -faints- mmhft...i seriously think i'll die writing one of these days... DX  
well, to make up, i made this a bit of a long chapter. this is actually the beginning of Part II to this story so there's quite a bit going on!  
i apologize ahead of time if this is really bad writing. i seriously think i've been writing for so long that my work is deteriorating into dead stuff...DX**

* * *

_Chap XIII_

_What could people be thinking in a state of mind that feels stripped of memory? Memories are what complete someone's past. For a Nobody, it is most likely indescribable of the confusion they endure without their treasured memories. The people they once held close, the places that once stole their breath away, and the emotions that once rushed in their bodies. All they can do is remember faintly what it was like to feel a heart...but once memories are stolen, they are left to cope with near nonexistence._

There was a boy...young and energetic. Most people on his world turned to him for someone to talk to...someone to trust. They knew his heart was strong. They knew his soul was intended to keep him and others together. That was why _he_ was chosen. Glistening eyes would stare out to the sea, beyond the horizon. And though they ventured far, he never once thought of departing this world. He loved his home, his world, _his sanctuary_. He loved his friends, his family, _his sanctuary_.

In each heartbeat, he remained chosen. Laying in the sand, watching the silver fish, swimming beside a waterfall...he remained oblivious to his secret power locked within his heart. Then, his heart called out for him...that day his sanctuary was overpowered by contorting darkness. That very day the shadows engulfed his beloved world, his heart remained strong. He resisted the darkness and walked toward the light, leaving his loved ones adrift in worlds apart. Still, his heart held together.

Hearts were lost; hearts were regained.

Memories were stolen; memories were chained together once again.

A world lost to the darkness; a world revived by the light.

Fears and lies melted away in the vast blue sky.

Now, he waits for _you_...

The warmth of the sun against Roxas' face awoke him that morning. Actually, he thought it might have been his dream. With a light groan, he recalled to memory the warmth against his face and blankly stared at his bed sheets the moment he sat upright.

"Another dream about him..." Who was 'him'? Once again, the gentle ringing of bells in the distance caught his attention and he turned to face his dusty window. Pushing them open, he felt the warmness stroke his cheek once he appeared under sunlight. So familiar...so bizarre. Everything felt that way after arriving in this new world: Twilight Town.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He missed him. More than ever, he longed to see him again. Ever since he departed this dark world, the darkness only seemed to intensify and, for once in his life, he barely spoke to anyone. After all, no once appeared to care that he left.

_I knew he would betray_

_He doesn't care for a heart as much as we do_

_He was useless_

All they ever did was intimidate him...he hated them for driving him away like that. If they hadn't, he would be here, at this moment, beside him. He should have stopped him from walking away...to admit, he was too weak at the time to even say more than: _"...I would..."_

Waking up was the worst every day. His head pounded and he always felt as if he would retch. Of course, that was what alcohol did to you. Groaning to himself, the red head pulled his pillow lazily over his head and lay face down in his bed. Another night of wasting his time on drinking. Another night of turning to liquor to release depression. He could smell the alcohol on his pillow and, disgusted, pulled out from underneath it and attempted to bring the ceiling into clear vision.

"Damn hangover..." Axel grumbled and turned to the left side of his bed.

"Hey, Roxas. You...oh, right..." Just as he carefully nudged the sheets and felt no one there, he sighed and released a slurred chuckled. He was surprised that he actually remembered that little guy's name. How long was it now? Nearly a year? Longer? Maybe it was only a few weeks for all he knew.

"Can't believe this..." After nearly becoming dizzied by laughing to himself, he slumped back to face the ceiling and rested a limp arm over his forehead. The only one in the Order that was really concerned about him was Demyx but he barely talked about Roxas now. When he did talk about Roxas, he would only mention how stupid he was for leaving. Not like that helped at all...

Were those weapons Roxas had before _that_ important to him? He doubted it. But, should he see him again...

When some time passed, he leaned toward the nightstand to his right and clumsily felt around for something in the darkness. It took some effort and one tipped over glass bottle before he finally retrieved it. Through the shadows, he could barely see the distinctive pieces to the object. His hangover only added to the stress but, he remained stubborn and persisted to stare at it.

In the palm of his hand was a small keychain, red and white in color with a thin silver chain dangling at its end. It appeared much like a mini version of his Chakrams but, of course, using it that way wasn't its purpose. He knew Roxas obtained something called a _Keyblade_. If ever he saw that boy again, he hoped he'd accept this from him.

A thin, conniving smile curved his lips and he leaned back into his pillow while he dangled the mini Chakram over his head. He had planned that, one day, he would start out. It would be risky, he knew that. But, if Roxas had done it, he knew he had just as much chances as Roxas did.

"Like I said: I've got a goal to bring him back to me..."

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What was there to think about Twilight Town? It was like any other world besides the fact that the time of day was always... well...twilight. He was always told by his classmates that there were so many worlds out there. And even though they seemed amazing, he took little interest in leaving...but he couldn't really say that Twilight Town was his home.

Sure, people could run freely on the streets and teens were free to play tag on the rooftops. And sure, there wasn't major violence or anything like it all year round. Still, waking up every twilight-filled morning felt lonesome in a way.

No one really greeted him good morning and no one really watched him leave the house. Just him...

Summer was honestly the only time that someone was there to keep him company. After that, no one. Just him...sleeping in an empty bed, an empty house...living an empty life.

"_Roxas!"_

"_Come on, man! Could you take any longer to get up?!"_

Roxas shook his head at the floor while turning to tie his left shoe. Even in summer vacation he had a curfew of when to wake up in the morning. Well, summer really wasn't going to be around much longer. Seven days was what was left. Sad...and they hadn't even gone to the beach yet.

He lazily pulled up from the floor and pulled the door open enough for him to slip through. He never bothered to look back at the emptiness of the house. There wasn't much to look at. So, just like any other day, he shut the door behind him and sent himself off with a goodbye.

It was probably one of Twilight Town's better days. Even though summer was ending, the autumn weather refused to kick in. People couldn't really tell when it was going to rain. Nobody could even remember the last time the town got a real snowfall. It was like...well, almost like nothing ever changed in Twilight Town. All that was really new was the new blonde kid that moved in across the street. The one that belonged with that trio that claimed that spot in the back of the alley as theirs. He was just another somebody...

_Roxas_

Roxas skipped down the last couple of steps and scanned around the seemingly deserted neighborhood. Wait, weren't they just here?

Dazed, Roxas took another awkward glance to his right where the brick road parted into two separate directions: one leading down a hill to the Tram Common while a narrower path cut in between two buildings. He figured that Hayner couldn't wait for even a few more seconds and shook his head, breaking into a run toward the second road.

The back alley was a little place in Twilight Town that not many people paid attention to. All it was ever known for was a place to post Lost Dog posters and throw bottles away. But, for the four of them, it was something perfect; irreplaceable. Ever since Seifer grew bored of it in the beginning of the summer, the back alley became instant paradise.

"Couldn't wait, could you, Hayner?" Roxas said, pushing back the red tarp that served as the door to the Usual Spot.

"What're you talking about? Wait for what?" Hayner replied, pushing himself up onto the old furnace for a place to sit.

Roxas blinked. "Huh? Weren't you guys just outside my window this morning? Y'know...trying to wake me up?" He dragged his feet over to the couch and sat down, trying to get something out of Pence and Olette too.

Olette, a chocolate-brown haired girl, shook her head. "We've been here all morning. Hayner's been complaining about..."

"About Seifer again," Pence, who was seated in the corner, interrupted. He turned back to Hayner who did just what he was good at: complaining, swearing and being an overall bastard. Olette shrugged and had no choice but to join in on the ranting. Roxas just left his palms open toward him in his lap, letting the words fly by.

Sure, Hayner was his best friend and all and so were Pence and Olette. But when it came to Seifer, he couldn't care less about what the conversation held. He was introduced to Seifer on the first day of school last year. Of course, it wasn't the nicest introduction. Seifer simply gave him this 'evil smirk' and walked away, roughly brushing shoulders with Hayner before disappearing around a corner.

Hayner always hated Seifer and everything he did. Seifer just enjoyed watching their group's misfortune; especially if he was that one that caused it.

Why was he thinking about Seifer anyway? It wasn't like he really cared. He just mentioned that to himself a minute ago. Besides the fact that summer was ending, all that Roxas ever had the time to think about were those strange dreams he had been having all summer. He had another, just that morning, only this time it was almost _real_. If someone had been there with him, he knew even they would be at a loss of words.

It was a place where you could hear the music playing in the distance. You knew it was playing and you knew that there wasn't much of a meaning to the beat and the words. But even though it couldn't be understood, you could still listen to it and let it take you away. You could almost feel it...almost like, if you reached out far enough, you could grab every note and the song would never end. You could see the people...their faces. But even the people had no real meaning to them. They were just characters. Put in that place to move to the music...or maybe...maybe they were more than just people. Maybe they were part of the melody themselves.

"Yeah, that's just wrong."

"Seifer's gone too far this time!"

"I know, right, Roxas? Right?"

Roxas looked up from his empty hands at the sound of his name and, without even knowing what was going on, nodded since it looked like a gesture that Hayner really needed right now. He wished he hadn't looked up. Then again, day dreaming wasn't helping at all. From the looks of things, Hayner had gotten Pence and Olette rattled up about Seifer too. Now that was rare. What was even weirder was that he was slowly starting to get into it too.

"See, that's not was bugs me," Hayner started while jumping down from the furnace, "What really bugs me is that he's going around telling everyone _we're_ the thieves!"

"Thieves?" Roxas whispered to himself. His, as well as Pence and Olette's, eyes followed Hayner as he crossed the room, sending air punches this way and that.

"Now the whole town and their mother's are treating us like we're the 'Klepto Club'! Have you ever been this ticked off in your life?!"

Roxas nearly jumped up when Hayner raised his voice in his face. He obediently stared Hayner directly in the eye and moved back when one of Hayner's fists came only centimeters from his nose. Apparently this was really a big deal...for once. He shook his head in a way that a little five year old would have done.

"'Cause I know I haven't! Nuh-uh, no, never!" Hayner turned back and faced the entrance of the Usual Spot with this spark in his eyes that signaled 'I'm out to kill'. "Now, what to do?" He scoffed while absently punching his hand.

Olette turned to Roxas who immediately got the message just through the way she bit her lip. _He's your best friend; make him stop!_

"_Looks like it's up to me...great."_ Roxas drew in a deep breath. "Well...couldn't we capture the real thief? That would set the record straight, right?"

Hayner tapped a finger against his cheek and stared at the ceiling in thought. "That could work..."

"Sounds like fun!" Pence always had this habit of breaking the depression in a scene by doing the most random things. Roxas stood from the couch and watched Pence run across the room.

"I mean, it would clear our names. Think about it, it's better that having to go through major shunning the rest of the summer."

Olette nodded in agreement and beamed up at Hayner. "Yeah, we can settle this!"

"Uhm..."

"_No!"_

Roxas glanced behind Hayner's shoulder to where Pence had run off to. He was holding his camera up to eye level in complete shock.

"What's up, Pence? Out of film?" Hayner teased.

"Not funny! All our ------ are gone!" It was after that that Pence's eyes widened and he dropped his camera, the one he had carried everywhere with him and spent most of his munny on before school started, back onto the wooden table where he had picked it up from. Slowly, he poked at his throat with his finger. "Uh...w-wha?"

Hayner's eyes, too, widened in shock. Whether it was because of Pence's priceless camera dropping or the fact that Pence was mute for that one second, Roxas didn't know. "What do you mean? All of the ------?" He grabbed at his throat helplessly, clearing it once to make sure he wasn't choked up.

Roxas cocked his head to the side and turned to Olette who had her hand covered over her mouth when she, too, failed to speak that one word. What if...what if he couldn't say it either? With a light breath, he formed his mouth to speak only to have his throat tighten and leave him short one breath...nothing. What was this?

"But, you _do_ get what I'm trying to say, right? Our ------ are gone! All of 'em!" Pence said while dusting off his camera.

"I get what you're trying to say...but...why? How? Who?" Hayner crossed his arms skeptically over his chest and glared at the floor. "That's _definitely_ too crazy. Too crazy of a crime for Seifer to commit."

"Not just the ------ but the word ------ too. What kind of a thief is that?" Olette asked to the floor.

What Olette said was true. What kind of a thief can steal those _and _the word? Obviously not Seifer. Even with his usual swiftness, stealing the word was something he couldn't accomplish. Heck, _no one_ could pull a trick like that off. Unless it was someone that wasn't from Twilight Town, right? It sounded logical enough.

Roxas looked up from the ground and turned to face the confused trio. "We could try asking around town. Maybe someone on the street saw the thief."

"It's worth a shot..." Pence said, a bit uneasily, and wrapped the strap of the camera around his neck.

"Well, alright. Time for some re-con." Without hesitation (he was like that) Hayner darted for the exit with Pence and Olette tagging along behind him like two obedient puppies running after their master. Roxas waited until they all left before following. He wasn't sure why he waited...something was holding him back; holding him by a string. But what? His eyesight was beginning to become blurred with only the faintest rays of white light peeking through the darkness that was closing in on him fast. By the time he ran ahead two steps, he started to sway.

_There was a blend of emotions rushing through his body at the time that it made him feel nauseated. He knew it, any minute now he would fall to the floor. Any time now he would lose control over himself and would run...run to where he had last seen those dark shadows. It made no sense why he wanted to be out in those dark streets than in the light room. The light...it didn't register to him...something about it didn't feel right. He swerved, he caught his balance, he swerved again, he was losing it..._

"_I'm...losing it...losing it...losing..."_

xxXXxx

_A scattered dream that's like a far off memory..._

_A far off memory that's like a scattered dream._

_I want to line the pieces up..._

_Slightly above him was that boy...the one he had seen shivering at the very sight of darkness. He was the one that had been curious to know who he was and was relieved when his beaming eyes fell upon the light. How he amazed him..._

He wished it could have been that way still. But, he knew: no matter how much he thought about Roxas, the kid wasn't coming back. That was the reality. Instead, it had to be the usual meetings with the members of the Organization; and he knew damn well that a majority of them were just as bored as he was when it came to the year long talks that The Superior had to give. After all: most of The Superior's little wannabes were dead so that meant that there was no one to listen to those rants. They were simply nothing but names written on little tombstones just outside the castle. No one cared about those writings anyway. Xemnas just felt that he should show off that he had reliable followers. That was how Axel saw it.

Lazily, he fell back into his seat, resting one arm on the arm rest while leaving the other to support his head. They could have at least found someway to make the seats softer. He regretted getting to the meeting early. There was nothing to do but wait for what felt like six hours for everyone else to show up. For a while it was just him then Luxord came in, over sized playing cards in hand. All he said was 'hey' to him before he got in his seat and started shuffling the deck. Luxord always played some random card games with himself just before a meeting and occasionally started practicing up on a little poker while Xemnas wasn't looking. It was like living in a broken record: everything repeated.

Yeah...nothing to do but wait. Again, the stupid hangover wasn't helping. He regretted taking those bottles from Luxord's stash the other night. The man never got drunk. He wondered where all the alcohol in him went after the first three beers. It wasn't like the drinks did anything for him. So, what else was the beer good for? You can't just throw it away. Throw it in a fire and it'll burst on you. Might as well take care of it...and that's how it went.

He groaned lightly and started rubbing his temples with two fingers. The light in the room was starting to make polka-dots flash in his face. He started counting off the ones who had left the Order already, just to make time pass.

"Let's see...there's Vexen, heh, guilty for that...Lexeaus. Hm, then Zexion...he was sleep deprived. Ah...oh, yeah, Marluxia. He deserved it anyway; getting all those damn roses in my face. And I think Larxene was the only one left...too bad; girl had spunk."

"What're you going on about down there?"

Axel looked up from his lap and directed his eyes to Luxord who was still flipping through his deck of cards; his hood pulled over his face. He rolled his eyes and slumped back again.

"Dead people," He muttered in reply.

Luxord let off a low chuckle. "Shame, isn't it? Poor things barely got the chance to even see Kingdom Hearts half complete." He placed a card on one of his arm rests, not taking a second to even face Axel. Anyway, Axel didn't expect Luxord to bother. It was just another life lost to everyone in the Organization. It was like stepping on an ant. Once it happened, it was just 'oh, too bad' and life continued. As he said before, all Nobodies cared for no one...it was just, well, he had a hard time believing it. He was the only one who had a hard time believing it. He didn't think he ever would.

"It'll happen; sooner or later it'll happen...man, where _is_ everyone?"

"What's that?" Luxord asked half monotonously and half with interest. "What'll happen sooner or later?"

"Don't you get it? We'll all eventually leave the Organization. Doesn't anybody here get it? Ugh, how much longer is this gonna take?"

Luxord shrugged and looked away from his cards in boredom. "Guess not, considering that there's really _no one_ here to accept anything."

Axel ended their conversation after that. He already hated having talks that when he mentioned 'anybody' they'd reply with 'excuse, me, it's _nobody_'. It was all too familiar and all too corny to deal with. But, it was true. Sooner or later the Organization would die down until there was nothing. Lazily he began tapping the edge of the arm rest and scanned the room once, twice, even three times. Of all places to be...why did this have to be one of them?

"Ignorant little bastards," He hissed while scooting to the front of the seat. "Look, you wait here all you want, man. But I'm not waiting another second for the rest of them to show up."

"I wouldn't do..."

Axel raised a hand and turned his head sharply to the side. "Just tell them I died in a pit. They'll believe anything." Without another word, he positioned himself for a jump. He had to get out of this room. Any sign of light was too much. Besides: being in this room, staring at that symbol on the floor, knowing that there was always going to be an empty chair above him...that was murder. He could barely even glance at that chair. Who knows what would happen if he did? If Luxord hadn't been there, then maybe, just maybe he would have let something go. Stupid alcohol. "See ya..."

"_Axel."_

Axel froze only seconds before starting his fall. He had to pull himself back up a bit before gravity took over. In that one second, his body became nearly paralyzed and his eyes, for some awkward reason, refused to pull away from the floor. Each time he heard that voice, it was like his head took over; that was a bad thing. Some sort of mind control he guessed.

"_It would be best if everyone stayed put and actually participated in a meeting."_ Following the voice was a familiar sound of darkness: something unknown and normally not belonging to the real world. But, for whatever reason, Axel knew how it sounded like. Cautiously, he turned his head to the left and locked eyes with those belonging to The Superior. He found it weird that he wore his hood down. On any other meeting, Xemnas would hide his face, always mentioning how the sight of light nearly blinded him.

A few seconds passed before Axel pulled away from Xemnas' stare and pushed back into the chair. Why, for god's sake, couldn't he just leave? By the time Xemnas looked away, he sighed deeply in disappointment in himself. He never used to act like this before. And he thought it was Zexion who acted the most anti-social. This would definitely ruin his reputation in the Organization now...more like what was left of the Organization.

All that was left were eight members; all of them eventually revealing themselves in the bright room from behind shady walls of empty darkness. He couldn't recognize any of them, considering that their faces were hidden. He thought of hiding like the rest of them. The presence of light nearly made him sick and, still, he didn't know why. After all, neither of them cared who was who. The only important thing were the words and ideas contributed to the conversations. He grew even more bored just thinking about it.

One of the last ones to arrive, as usual, finally appeared in the seat directly across from Axel. They inched up to the front of the seat, rather girly-like, and rested their head in their hands. Axel could already tell this was going to be another long one. Above him to the left, Luxord kept his cards open before him in his lap, half paying attention and half concentrating on where to place the King of Hearts.

With everyone together, the room fell silent. Even more silent than when it was just Axel and Luxord. Only the occasional tinkling of silver chains and shifting fabric drifted in the air for seconds at a time. In a way, he felt like a human, showing his face in this room. Just so he could stop himself from thinking about it anymore, Axel reached behind him and pulled the black hood over his head. Cold darkness surrounded him and, unlike before, he didn't feel much different; just less embarrassed.

"So," Xemnas began, deeply and a bit harshly, "tell me again why we are together as an Organization?" He had his arms crossed over his chest while he sat at a higher level than everyone else. Anyone could tell he was powerful and even his seating spot boasted it. He began scanning the room in an eerie silence which made the member seated ahead of Axel flinch uneasily in their chair.

"_Eh, uhm..." _They stumbled, searching left and right, up and down for someone that would hopefully answer for him.

"I wasn't asking you directly, Demyx..." Xemnas said sternly, glaring down at Demyx with a look like he was out to kill.

Defeated, Demyx shrunk back in his chair, letting off a few stray growls when someone beside him snickered. Axel always knew he was a nut.

"The reason is because we want to regain what we once lost, correct?" He paused and started again, "So, in order for that to be accomplished, we must overtake Kingdom Hearts. That has forever been our goal. But..." In slight thought, he started tapping the end of his arm rest before saying, "But...you should all remember that one member that decided he was finished with searching. You remember, right?"

While everyone else quickly answered, either by scoffing, snickering or carrying out a short conversation about it with someone else, Axel sat quietly and impatiently, refusing to answer. Of course he knew. It was all too familiar. He casually glanced around the room, trying not to move his head all too much to make sure he wouldn't be too obvious. Everyone else sure looked unaffected.

Feeling strangely depressed again, Axel rested his head in one of his hands and took in deep breaths. "_Just calm down...calm down."_

Xemnas noticed this and grinned, which he rarely did. A small spark glistened in both of his amber eyes when he stared down at Axel. Even with his hood hiding him away, Axel was the easiest to find right now. It just made his job as leader even easier.

"Well, you don't really have to worry about that," He interrupted, raising a single hand to end the gossip chain, "I've been keeping an eye on that boy...he's not what you'd expect from a Nobody."

Suddenly, Axel perked up. He's been spying on him? He knew where he was? He really knew how he was? Where? Where? Axel's headache just got up and left then and there. That's it. Just like that. This could be the first meeting he would actually pay attention to.

Xemnas' smile widened and curved and a few of the other members moved back a few inches. It was that scary to see a guy like him smile. This was definitely one of Xemnas' 'happier' days. But Axel just sat there, staring...waiting.

"But, that's all about to change. Yes, he betrayed and yes, punishment is normally the outcome of that."

Axel lightly cringed at the mentioning of 'punishment'. He knew about that pretty well even if he had only been with the Organization for a little while. Actually, he had to perform it on a member before. But that was different. He didn't even like Vexen. The guy deserved what he got. But, this, this was beyond all that. He just had this bad feeling inside him...

"You taught him all well...it's showing a bit while he's holding out there in that town."

"Damn right we taught that kid well!" Someone yelled out confidently from Axel's right.

"You'd better shut up if you know what's good for you," Axel hissed, not bothering to turn his head to talk to them straight.

They scoffed. "As if. I'm just telling all of you. That kid took up a hell of a lot of my time just so I could teach him right. I even had to tolerate a few cuts a bruises after teaching him how to avoid a few little gunshots, you know?"

"That's enough, Xigbar," Xemnas ended him right there. If Xemnas had been any old person, chances were that Xigbar would go on forever. That was how ignorant he was. Instead, since Xemnas would have likely bitten his head off, Xigbar shut himself up and slouched back into the chair.

"Going back to that town...it'll take some extra effort and maybe even a little bit of fighting...but, regardless, we're _going_ to pull him out. No exceptions."

The gossiping started up again but this time it was at a much higher level. Axel could almost hear what someone was saying from all across the room. Of course it was easy to hear Demyx, though. The guy had the highest voice you could ever think of. When he laughed it always stood out in a group 'manical laugh moment' since he sounded more like a thirteen year old kid than a heartless member of the Organization.

Axel's palms started getting twitchy and he soon found himself swinging his feet in midair. Alright, so things were getting exciting...they were going to get him back. They really were...he couldn't have been dreaming, right? No...everything felt and sounded too real. Damn, he had to know, he had to know!

"Since when do you go easy on the new people? You didn't even think twice when Marluxia..."

"Don't bring up Marluxia to me again. He was a different case." Xemnas waved a hand across his face as if the conversation was nothing.

Luxord, the one who started the talking, became quiet again and peered down at his cards before he got caught up in another conversation. That was new. Luxord wasn't paying attention to his poker game as much...huh, so maybe people did care...what was he saying? What a joke. He was a in a room filled with actors.

The talking felt like it went on forever. Axel's patience was growing short. So short that he thought he could just yell out for everyone to shut their mouths. _"Damn...he knows where he is..."_ He stared up at Xemnas who was staring back at him. He turned away instantly. _"Great, now he's looking at me. What does he want me to do? Laugh about it? Come on, shut them up and get on with the...!"_

"Axel."

It was like a short breeze flew into the room and stole the voices away. It happened so quick that Axel wasn't even sure if there was a certain time to record it. Cautiously, he only moved his eyes up toward where he heard Xemnas' voice. The weight of everyone else's eyes falling on him added to the pressure. He tried not to show it though. "_Keep that reputation...keep it."_

Just by staring into that man's eyes gave Axel the impression that something was going on through his head. And whatever that something was...he knew it wasn't good; at least for him.

"Seeing as you were the one that first found him..." He took a second to stare at the ceiling before continuing, "...it would only be fair that you be the one that...takes him back."

"Take him...back? What're you...?" Axel paused.

"You know, go into that town and convince him to come back to the Organization. The case of number thirteen leaving is different than everyone else."

"How different?" Xigbar asked.

"If we leave him be, our chances of taking over Kingdom Hearts will deteriorate. I know it. Soon he will face with his other half and that will be the end of it. Not even all of us will be able to take on a completed keyblade master."

"'_Completed keyblade master'? What the hell does he mean by that?"_ Axel shook his head. Now that he thought about it, it didn't matter. All that mattered was what Xemnas had said earlier. He wasn't about to lead away from that conversation. "What about the town? How are we doing this?" He asked edgily.

Xemnas' little smirk wasn't rubbing off his face. In fact, every time Axel reacted to something just made it widen. Something was definitely going through in his head...but was it a good thing? "Oh no, Axel. Not 'we'. _You_." Slowly, he pointed a gloved finger down at Axel's body. That just made everything worse.

"Uh...huh? What? Why me?"

"Why you?" Xemnas scoffed while rolling his eyes, "You're one to be trusted, Axel. It's because of you that we were able to get rid of the traitors in the Organization. Hadn't it been for you, those idiots would still be alive and would be plotting to destroy each and every one of us."

While he was being spoken to, Axel started surveying the room at the empty chairs above and below where he sat. Those were the places where _they _used to sit. Truthfully, he didn't miss them. It was so easy to throw a weapon; to stare them down while they began fading away...it was that easy to kill. Kill...

"The point I'm trying to get at is that, because you always follow orders and carrying them out as instructed, it's only a reasonable order to have you go and bring back number thirteen, be he conscious or not."

The room just then began humming with scattered words. Axel just stared...and thought thoughts that weren't even complete. He wondered if that was even part of being a Nobody. Was everything really incomplete? True, that was another part of his reputation: an obedient dog at the right hand of the Superior. Sometimes he hated that he had to be so persistent when it came to working whether it be filing paperwork or destroying a traitor. Then again, it's what he always was...even before he was born. It was why he was a human form of a Nobody...his past heart was that strong.

His chest suddenly stared hurting when he thought about hearts. He swore that he used to have one...actually, he knew it was still out there somewhere...where ever this town was, it was there. He just had to find it.

"So, it's decided then."

Axel looked back up at Xemnas. Decided...he was partly decided. He was eager about it while at the same time just flat out depressed. Then, without thinking straight, he nodded in reply to which everyone else started snickering about. God, he hated them.

"Good. It's simple. He's not as powerful as he used to be so this should be rather easy. Find the perfect time to hack into the programmed town where he is. You'll need this to do it." Quickly, Xemnas reached into his pocket and retrieved a silver card which he threw down toward Axel.

Axel caught it swiftly between two fingers and stared down at it. It looked like it was made directly from a blade.

"That's a virus card. Using the real town's computer system, place the card into the drive and wait for the virus to travel through the computer. Some sort of message should appear once it's done. That's when you'll know when to teleport yourself into the programmed town. Just know that it'll only take a matter of minutes for DiZ to find you out so be quick about it."

"Where will he be?" Axel asked, trying his best to steer away from sounding too excited about it.

Xemnas shook his head. "That I don't know exactly. Be smart about it and use the Nobodies to sniff him out. But when you find him, make sure you wait for the virus to freeze all moving data in the program before meeting him face to face. Even though those people are nothing but data, it's easy to wreak havoc if they see you."

"What am I supposed to do when I see him? W-well, y'know...how do I convince him and all...?"

"Be creative. I'm sure there are many things you could do. Just don't be stupid about it. Fight him if you have to. Remember when I said to bring him back conscious or not. Use some sort of force. It won't matter. But don't waste time and go easy on him. It's only a matter of time before he'll be able to see his other half."

"Is that it?"

Xemnas took a second to think before replying, "Do anything you can to remind him of us...even do something to remind yourself of him. It could help when you need to strategize. After it's all done, bring the boy directly to me when you've got him. We'll see what we can do about his memories..."

Just the way he said it...he sounded so uncaring. It was almost like this job was nothing at all. If Axel couldn't bring him back, would that even matter? Still, this was an opportunity to bring him back. An opportunity to see him. He'd be back...here. He had to use force...he wasn't sure if he could do it. When he sat quietly, holding the silver card in his lap, Xemnas spoke again.

"If you come back empty handed I'll have to send someone else to do it for you. I might just tell that new person to really kill him if I have to."

Axel's eyes widened under the darkness of his hood. He tried not to overreact and instead nodded softly. He still wasn't sure. He was almost shaking. He had to do this and do it right. He wasn't about to let him die because of a stupid action.

"Don't disappoint me...you're all dismissed."

In merely a second, the sound of darkness returned and all around the room the members were disappearing into darkness. Axel never knew where they went or what they did when they disappeared. Everyone mostly kept to themselves. He hadn't realized how much of a 'brotherhood' this Organization was until now. Above him, Xemnas had pulled on his hood and was beginning to dismiss himself. While he took another moment to glare down at Axel, the sound of his laughter could be hardly distinguishable from the darkness he was leaving in. Axel sighed when he left; feeling like a weight was just lifted from his shoulders. Without that man staring at him it made the world easier.

He reached up and pulled the hood away from his face. Being alone in the room was, in a way, comforting. But he was still alone. Normally, he would have been long gone by now, not bothering to stop for anything until the work was done. It just felt right to wait before carrying out this particular order. Slightly frustrated, Axel rubbed his forehead and sadly stared down in his lap. He was about to look up but decided against it, remembering that a certain empty chair was still there.

"Why am I doing this?" He groaned helplessly.

"_Oh, forgot to mention, Axel!"_

Axel abruptly looked up from his lap to his left where he heard Luxord's voice again. "What? Aren't you gone yet?"

Luxord, who was standing in his chair while shuffling his cards, laughed with his head held up. "You forgot to mention someone from that little list you were compiling earlier."

"Oh, yeah? Who's that?" Axel really couldn't care less. Who? He thought he mentioned everyone that was gone, right?

Luxord shook his head and reached for a card in the middle of his deck. He took it between two fingers and flung it toward Axel the same way Xemnas had earlier. Axel caught it a bit clumsily and flipped it over. At first he thought it was a card he was holding...

"Roxas!" Folding up the deck, Luxord wrapped himself in darkness and soon was gone from the room. Axel was finally alone...and he hated it.

Cautiously, Axel's eyes directed to what he thought was an ordinary playing card from Luxord. Instead, it was a photo...a photo of Roxas. But not just Roxas. He was standing in front of a gate with three other kids about his age. They were all smiling under the lazy orange glow of the sun...even Roxas was smiling...he really was. Axel wondered if this was what Roxas looked like now. He wondered if this was where he liked to be. He was smiling after all. Something about it made Axel's insides turn.

But even though the picture was hard to look at, he couldn't get out of it. He just felt like he had to be there too.

He was sure about it...he would be in that picture too. He was that close to getting there.

_Yours and mine..._

* * *

**-collapses- ah...my fingers...they burrrrrn! --runs around maniacally-  
that...and my butt. oh, it hurts so badly...i've been sitting here in bed for almost two hours writing! wah!  
****i feel sorry for my period button...i have too many '...' in my stories and for that i will be sued by society...then again maybe not! ...-sued- oh...-sued-  
i hope you guys enjoyed this and if you didn't, SPORK-ME. seriously, spork me, shoot me! -hides- don't shoot me!  
i really missed the akurokuness so i got all mushy over photos and memories...aw, poetic. X3**

**i promise to update as best i can! even if i've lost readers! i have hope! BELIEVE IT! ...oh, crap...narutard moment there...-shot-**

**_now i've caused a spork war DX  
kokoro77_**


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